I am writing a workbook to help people heal from affairs.
I have found that there are misconceptions about affairs. I have found that people are not protecting their relationship or "Couple Bubble" (thank you to Stan Tatkin)
In a couple sentences, let me describe the main points.
If you put another relationship in front of your romantic relationship, you are at high risk. If you prioritize your relationship with a coworker or friend and defend them instead of having your priority be your partner, that is high risk. If you are making "We" decisions (decisions that affect the couple) without consulting your partner, that is high risk behavior. When you talk about your partner to your friends or coworkers, if it is negative about them, that is high risk behavior. You are betraying your loyalty (absent but implicit social contract with partner) and putting their needs ahead of what your partner needs and expects from the relationship. If your partner would not want you talking about that issue with your coworkers and you do it anyway, you are not protecting the "couple bubble."
High risk behavior does not mean you will have an affair. I might ask you why you would continue doing things that risk the relationship.
If you value the relationship, you protect it.
I currently have 175 pages written that need some editing and organizing. Stay tuned
I have found that there are misconceptions about affairs. I have found that people are not protecting their relationship or "Couple Bubble" (thank you to Stan Tatkin)
In a couple sentences, let me describe the main points.
If you put another relationship in front of your romantic relationship, you are at high risk. If you prioritize your relationship with a coworker or friend and defend them instead of having your priority be your partner, that is high risk. If you are making "We" decisions (decisions that affect the couple) without consulting your partner, that is high risk behavior. When you talk about your partner to your friends or coworkers, if it is negative about them, that is high risk behavior. You are betraying your loyalty (absent but implicit social contract with partner) and putting their needs ahead of what your partner needs and expects from the relationship. If your partner would not want you talking about that issue with your coworkers and you do it anyway, you are not protecting the "couple bubble."
High risk behavior does not mean you will have an affair. I might ask you why you would continue doing things that risk the relationship.
If you value the relationship, you protect it.
I currently have 175 pages written that need some editing and organizing. Stay tuned
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