Talking about Sex and getting to know the other
That is evidence of your commitment to make it fulfilling rather than taking it for granted. It should not feel like work. It does require devotion.
It is a turn-on that someone finds you attractive and fascinating enough to want to get to know you.
Everything seems fresh and alive. There’s opportunity for discovery.
With sex, you are not trying to find the most expedient pathway to bring the other to orgasm. It is pleasure -oriented not goal -directed.
Did you find me endlessly fascinating and captivating?
Or were you just trying to figure out how to get an orgasm?
Were you trying to figure out how to play my body like a pinball machine?
The shortest way to kill desire is to do what works relentlessly.
Are you alert enough to what is most arousing to the partner in the moment? Checking out is a trauma response- be present in that moment and breathe, communicate and let each other know what you like and want and when it changes. That creates a sense of connection, desire, and feeling desirable.
You are making love with your partner, not to them. It is not a performance.
Make sure that they feel touched not played.
That is evidence of your commitment to make it fulfilling rather than taking it for granted. It should not feel like work. It does require devotion.
It is a turn-on that someone finds you attractive and fascinating enough to want to get to know you.
Everything seems fresh and alive. There’s opportunity for discovery.
With sex, you are not trying to find the most expedient pathway to bring the other to orgasm. It is pleasure -oriented not goal -directed.
Did you find me endlessly fascinating and captivating?
Or were you just trying to figure out how to get an orgasm?
Were you trying to figure out how to play my body like a pinball machine?
The shortest way to kill desire is to do what works relentlessly.
Are you alert enough to what is most arousing to the partner in the moment? Checking out is a trauma response- be present in that moment and breathe, communicate and let each other know what you like and want and when it changes. That creates a sense of connection, desire, and feeling desirable.
You are making love with your partner, not to them. It is not a performance.
Make sure that they feel touched not played.
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