Don’t pretend everything is okay
Acknowledge the pain and the opportunity for growth
I could have lost you.
You have an opportunity to use this experience that is similar to lemons and lemonade. Many couples I have worked with note that the intimacy after an affair is different. They realize that they could have lost this person and they don’t want that. They realize how much they mean. I would not wish an affair on anyone. Once it is here, lets squeeze out all the juice.
Familiar is comfortable
We have the tendency to seek, and continue with, what’s familiar and comfortable.
If we stick with familiarity, we miss the opportunity be transformed- to become more than we are right now. What is the cost of staying stuck, of the status quo?
In counseling, we talk about being too comfortable and life shakes us all up when we are too comfortable.
One professor said that our job as counselors is to “comfort the afflicted and afflict the comforted.”
Stuck
You were not created to stay stuck or be limited by your past. It doesn’t feel good and sometimes anger can be a useful fuel in getting you to move. Whatever it takes to create the necessary change…
It is okay to be angry about what happened. Any feeling you have is okay to experience in its entirety. Feel the feelings and watch them change. Watch your perspective change, too.
We blossom and grow when we do hard things.
Want to get unstuck? Get your needs met. Try listening to this audio and let me know
https://archive.org/details/what-do-you-need-from-your-partner-see-also-what-do-i-need-exercise-audio
Did you know that people freely give attention to those who nurture and support them? I challenge you to nurture and support those around you in ways that are meaningful to them.
I would ask my clients to please let me know if you use my blog to continue the growth between sessions. It can be another resource for you.
Thank you for joining me today and I look forward to spending more time together in the future.
Thank you for subscribing,
Don Boice, LCSWR
Acknowledge the pain and the opportunity for growth
I could have lost you.
You have an opportunity to use this experience that is similar to lemons and lemonade. Many couples I have worked with note that the intimacy after an affair is different. They realize that they could have lost this person and they don’t want that. They realize how much they mean. I would not wish an affair on anyone. Once it is here, lets squeeze out all the juice.
Familiar is comfortable
We have the tendency to seek, and continue with, what’s familiar and comfortable.
If we stick with familiarity, we miss the opportunity be transformed- to become more than we are right now. What is the cost of staying stuck, of the status quo?
In counseling, we talk about being too comfortable and life shakes us all up when we are too comfortable.
One professor said that our job as counselors is to “comfort the afflicted and afflict the comforted.”
Stuck
You were not created to stay stuck or be limited by your past. It doesn’t feel good and sometimes anger can be a useful fuel in getting you to move. Whatever it takes to create the necessary change…
It is okay to be angry about what happened. Any feeling you have is okay to experience in its entirety. Feel the feelings and watch them change. Watch your perspective change, too.
We blossom and grow when we do hard things.
Want to get unstuck? Get your needs met. Try listening to this audio and let me know
https://archive.org/details/what-do-you-need-from-your-partner-see-also-what-do-i-need-exercise-audio
Did you know that people freely give attention to those who nurture and support them? I challenge you to nurture and support those around you in ways that are meaningful to them.
I would ask my clients to please let me know if you use my blog to continue the growth between sessions. It can be another resource for you.
Thank you for joining me today and I look forward to spending more time together in the future.
Thank you for subscribing,
Don Boice, LCSWR
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