This hurts so bad: The story does change over time
When comparing how you felt about the affair when you first found out versus how you feel now, did you notice the intensity of your emotion change? The event itself has not changed, so make sense of that.
Ask yourself
Did you notice new emotions or thoughts coming to the surface?
Challenge: Can you track the pattern? What created the new emotions?
Were you able to distract yourself from the emotional experience of it?
Were you able to feel the fullness of the feelings?
Do you view it differently now?
Has your emotional response changed? How and why?
Were you surprised by the change?
What does that say about you?
What does that say about your ability to change the narrative?
What does the change say about your capacity to manage distress?
Chances are that feelings got in your way. At least your ability to manage them got in the way. Listen to this audio “How to do feelings”
https://archive.org/details/empathy-meditation-and-how-to-do-feelings-for-couples
We are in control of the narrative/story we tell ourselves. If it does not serve you, change it. If you do not like how you are feeling emotionally, consider that your narrative needs to be addressed.
Did you know that people freely give attention to those who nurture and support them? I challenge you to nurture and support those around you in ways that are meaningful to them.
I would ask my clients to please let me know if you use my blog to continue the growth between sessions. It can be another resource for you.
Thank you for joining me today and I look forward to spending more time together in the future.
Thank you for subscribing,
Don Boice, LCSWR
“The go- to guy for conflict”
When comparing how you felt about the affair when you first found out versus how you feel now, did you notice the intensity of your emotion change? The event itself has not changed, so make sense of that.
Ask yourself
Did you notice new emotions or thoughts coming to the surface?
Challenge: Can you track the pattern? What created the new emotions?
Were you able to distract yourself from the emotional experience of it?
Were you able to feel the fullness of the feelings?
Do you view it differently now?
Has your emotional response changed? How and why?
Were you surprised by the change?
What does that say about you?
What does that say about your ability to change the narrative?
What does the change say about your capacity to manage distress?
Chances are that feelings got in your way. At least your ability to manage them got in the way. Listen to this audio “How to do feelings”
https://archive.org/details/empathy-meditation-and-how-to-do-feelings-for-couples
We are in control of the narrative/story we tell ourselves. If it does not serve you, change it. If you do not like how you are feeling emotionally, consider that your narrative needs to be addressed.
Did you know that people freely give attention to those who nurture and support them? I challenge you to nurture and support those around you in ways that are meaningful to them.
I would ask my clients to please let me know if you use my blog to continue the growth between sessions. It can be another resource for you.
Thank you for joining me today and I look forward to spending more time together in the future.
Thank you for subscribing,
Don Boice, LCSWR
“The go- to guy for conflict”
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