What we have found is that many people do not talk about sex and sexuality, emotional and physical intimacy and then they have "sex not worth having."
I get it. It is awkward to have those conversations. It can be awkward to show your partner that you love what they are doing and the level of pleasure you are experiencing. It can also be awkward to "correct" or lead them without feeling demanding and bossy. That makes sense.
Let's talk about talking about it.
"I really love when you... that feels so good. Thank you for that. Anytime you want to do that, I am open to it."
"I love how my body feels when you..."
"That was really hot. I can't wait to do that again."
Those are all positive comments that are likely to encourage the partner to repeat what you liked. Most of us want to please our partners and do not know how to do it. If I want to please you, you want me to please you, then I am going to need to work as a team to understand how your body works and let's work together to see what we are capable of in terms of joy, bliss and ecstasy. Let's not focus so much on the orgasm, but on connection and pleasure, on learning each other.
Want technique to go with those conversations? People who masturbate regularly know their bodies more intimately and know what gets them there. Ask them. Read the book She Comes First- gives you strokes to use, 5 strokes like this, then do this- 15 sets of this, not to exceed 5 minutes, then move on to the next phase. For someone who likes to understand the process, that is fantastic feedback (from the book). Try the suggestions and ask her if she likes the speed, the duration, the variety and the repetition. Make sure you don't assume she will like something just because the book. Her opinion is more important than the author's opinion. Combined, you can help her ask for what she wants and put it in words that make sense.
Technique okay but the conversation lags? Hot monogamy and sexual styles survey can help. Want a combo- go to my website and look at sacred sexuality workbooks. Want to up your game with your mindset? Read the book Magnificent Sex. Want to set the stage for more and better sex? Come As You Are
Have trouble getting in touch with your body and sexuality? Better Sex through Mindfulness
Want help with getting more tantra into your routine? The Art of Sexual Ecstasy
The pattern I see as I review this is that I want you to have sex worth having, to enjoy it thoroughly and keep working at it until you have pleasure and ecstasy and connection.
You do not have to settle for great sex anymore!
I get it. It is awkward to have those conversations. It can be awkward to show your partner that you love what they are doing and the level of pleasure you are experiencing. It can also be awkward to "correct" or lead them without feeling demanding and bossy. That makes sense.
Let's talk about talking about it.
"I really love when you... that feels so good. Thank you for that. Anytime you want to do that, I am open to it."
"I love how my body feels when you..."
"That was really hot. I can't wait to do that again."
Those are all positive comments that are likely to encourage the partner to repeat what you liked. Most of us want to please our partners and do not know how to do it. If I want to please you, you want me to please you, then I am going to need to work as a team to understand how your body works and let's work together to see what we are capable of in terms of joy, bliss and ecstasy. Let's not focus so much on the orgasm, but on connection and pleasure, on learning each other.
Want technique to go with those conversations? People who masturbate regularly know their bodies more intimately and know what gets them there. Ask them. Read the book She Comes First- gives you strokes to use, 5 strokes like this, then do this- 15 sets of this, not to exceed 5 minutes, then move on to the next phase. For someone who likes to understand the process, that is fantastic feedback (from the book). Try the suggestions and ask her if she likes the speed, the duration, the variety and the repetition. Make sure you don't assume she will like something just because the book. Her opinion is more important than the author's opinion. Combined, you can help her ask for what she wants and put it in words that make sense.
Technique okay but the conversation lags? Hot monogamy and sexual styles survey can help. Want a combo- go to my website and look at sacred sexuality workbooks. Want to up your game with your mindset? Read the book Magnificent Sex. Want to set the stage for more and better sex? Come As You Are
Have trouble getting in touch with your body and sexuality? Better Sex through Mindfulness
Want help with getting more tantra into your routine? The Art of Sexual Ecstasy
The pattern I see as I review this is that I want you to have sex worth having, to enjoy it thoroughly and keep working at it until you have pleasure and ecstasy and connection.
You do not have to settle for great sex anymore!
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