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Why do so many couples choose Don Boice for Couples Counseling?
You, like me, pursue results, in a setting designed for both of you to feel welcome. Skills that you can practice long-term, not weekly sessions that make you dependent... Progress that is measured and reinforced by a relationship crisis specialist... I help you get results. That is only helpful if you then sustain it. I help you prompt yourselves to sustain the gains and I reinforce the process with a feedback loop (several, actually to increase your odds of success). Orient yourself to Couples Counseling With These Links: Orientation As of August 31, 2026 my office is in Penfield: 2480 Browncroft Blvd Rochester, NY 14625 Why the Change? Joining Path Forward allows me to continue doing the work I love while benefiting from the resources, collaboration, and support of an outstanding group practice. This partnership enables me to focus even more on providing exceptional care while ensuring the practice has the systems and support needed to serve clients well into the future. My commitment to helping couples and individuals build stronger relationships and create lasting change remains at the heart of my work. Whether you've been working with me for years or are considering reaching out for the first time, I look forward to welcoming you to this next chapter. Thank you for your trust and support. It is truly a privilege to be part of your journey, and I look forward to continuing our work together at Path Forward. Warmly, Don Boice, LCSW-R We regularly evaluate progress and I show you how to do it without me. Goal Setting with Measuring Were We Successful Quickly, you know how to successfully get back on track. You, like me, value that. How do we choose a Marriage Counselor? I have had couples tell me they did not know what they were looking for or how to choose a good Couples Counselor. Once their relationship was solid, stable and satisfying, they knew what they needed. They told me that they needed someone to guide them to results, in a respectful way. They needed someone who understood that chasing away the guy was not good. The counselor had to set it up to be male-friendly or it would not succeed. Counseling is naturally female-friendly and it had to consciously be balanced or it would be doomed. Naturally, it cannot benefit just one of you. They needed an expert, someone laser-focused. The stakes were too high to go to a generalist. They said they did not want someone who listed 20 different “specialties.” They needed practice or homework and systems of communication, an approach that favored developing skills, not weekly therapy with endless talking and feelings. Therapy is about change. “Show me that you can help me change,” they said. They didn’t care where I got my training, who taught it, what system I used, how much I read or how well I did in school or even what degree. Those are irrelevant to most couples in need. They don’t want the counselor to make it about themselves. One particularly articulate couple came up with this, at session one, “We can make the initial change, we struggle reinforcing the change and then sustaining it, we don’t have feedback loops, we don’t do regular evaluation and correction, we are not great at coming back from the pain and failed bids and arguments.” NOTE: One of the biggest mistakes couples make is procrastinating. They think they have time and they don’t. Justifying it is leading you down the path of resentment towards breakup and divorce. You don't want to wait until it is too late to fix it. Couples Counseling really is a limited time offer! Want to read what clients say about the experience of counseling? Testimonials Results Matter Could I help them get the results they want? They needed a counselor who was prepared for couples, had lots of successful experience and knew what to do with them immediately. Maybe even have a menu of resources on their site so they can get immediate relief... Male-Friendly Note: Most counseling is unintentionally oriented toward being female-friendly due to the gender of the counselor and the field itself. When we seek to have the male feel comfortable, as well, both parties continue coming. That means adjusting the approach and setting to accommodate both people. According to research, many times the man will not come or will not return after session 1. If both parties are not present, research has shown that the couple is unlikely to succeed. If just one person comes and talks about the relationship, the odds are against the couple staying together. How do I get my husband / boyfriend to attend? What to say when asking him Responsive Do you want a counseling office to call you back? We do that here because we value you and know how hard it can be to reach out. Support For couples who want on-going support outside of sessions, I created a YouTube experience called "Top Notch Couples Keep the Spark Alive Weekly Review" 60 video playlist which keeps you talking, in-between sessions, and long after counseling has ended, about the important things in your relationship. Check it out: Keep the Spark Alive Conflict "He's the go-to-guy for resolving conflict." You can have disagreements and be respectful, where both walk away with their dignity intact. Strongly suggest that you look at the handouts entitled, "Talker and Listener" so that you have rules of engagement for a discussion that involves feelings. Read through my site and you'll learn how to ask for your needs to be met instead of complaining (lose your audience if you complain too much). You'll learn deeper insights into compromise and likely reinforce what you already know, but are not doing. You have to be nice to your partner for this to work. You can do that for free and reinforce it during the sessions. Let's stack the deck in favor of your relationship. Help us talk to one another- Ways to create a conversation that works Known Pattern -How to have the more difficult conversations That landed poorly, let us set it up for success and try again-Set it up for success Talker and Listener Resources "Talker and Listener" will help you reduce unnecessary conflict, if you value that Talker and Listener Talker and LIstener video Talker and Listener Better Negotiating Once Communication is Clear Want to learn how to negotiate better with your partner? Nash Equilibrium Bayes Rule Break the Pattern of Arguments in 10 Minutes Care about deepening the Emotional Connection and Vulnerability, but don't know how? Vulnerability Workbook For those who do care about training and education Don Boice has a Master's Degree in Social Work from the University of Pennsylvania, took multiple years of Couples workshops at Harvard Continuing Education and is licensed in New York as a Clinical Social Worker (LCSWR). He uses the insights from many different researchers and most frequently uses resources from multiple trainings with John Gottman, PhD. He is research- based, practical, the information is immediately applicable and he gives handouts to help you take the information with you. If you want more information, there are links throughout this website to video, audios he himself produced and written information. Affair training by John and Julie Gottman led to a more systematic approach to couples who have been through it, from the Cascade article, to a workbook for the person who cheated and this article Can My Marriage Survive an Affair? Step by Step Approach to Healing from an Affair Is it a good fit? With couples counseling, you will either get results in the first three sessions or you will move on. If you do not get results by session three, the suggestion is to fire Don and get a new counselor. It means there is a mismatch between you and the counselor or it means that you are not doing the work necessary to improve. Either way, change something up, since counseling is about change. If there is no change, counseling is not doing its job with you. Often it has to do with rethinking your walls and if they still serve you. Walls or vulnerable communication as protection Would you like to jumpstart your counseling process? Consider reading these pages and practicing and watch how much more effective counseling is for the two of you. Improve Your Counseling Experience Want to improve communication? Evaluate it first Couples communication skills self-assessment "I felt trapped by that question you just asked," and how to repair it: I felt trapped by that question "You don't have the right to feel defensive," she said. You don't have the right to feel defensive Encouraging self-disclosure in your partner: Getting to know you And Self-disclosure often has gendered patterns "We have become roommates," is a common statement I hear. Let's begin working on that immediately and see what can be done to change that. We have become roommates How to ask for sexual intimacy and how to say no with respect- How to ask for sexual intimacy and how to say no without rejecting your partner Couples Focus He specializes in couples, with a focus on conflict resolution, affairs, enlightenment through ecstasy, understanding gender communication and creating an environment where both women and men feel comfortable to resolve their differences. New to Couples Counseling? How to Choose a Couples Counselor Want Results? Choose a Relationship Expert Do you feel bad enough now to make some changes, or would you rather wait until you feel even worse? Remember thinking, “My relationship is ending soon, get in quick!” You had that sense of urgency, knowing something had to be done and fast. A good relationship was in your reach and you went for it. No FOMO for you. Your time is limited and you knew you had to act to save it. You were faced with a choice. Continue procrastinating, ignoring the problem until it gets to be a crisis or deal with it now. Get results now. Insist on results with an expert you can trust. “They thought they had time,” their friends said, "and now they are grieving their relationship. They wish they could see their kids every day like when they were together, but they postponed getting help a little too long." ORIENTATION TO COUPLES COUNSELING WITH DON I write a lot and want information to be free for you. I have cross-referenced some information to make it easier for you to find. Orientation Handout With Hyperlinks Orientation Information with Links to Specific Topics Affair Handout With Hyperlinks Affairs Stay or Go Handout With Hyperlinks Stay or Go? Intensive Handout With Hyperlinks Intensives Conflict Handout With Hyperlinks Conflict The counseling session is where the magic happens, but information can help significantly. Information is necessary but not sufficient. Self -awareness goes a long way, as does assessing the relationship and being honest with one another and ourselves. Look through these and determine which ones fit the two of you without overwhelming yourselves. I had one couple take six months to "complete" the website and then their counseling was amazing, because they had so much theory and common language. Another couple took one article/essay a week from the site and it took years to complete- no rush and no pressure. Think of it like a library, you do not have to read every book, just the ones that appeal to you. Before and After Picture What Does "Good" Look LIke When Evaluating Our Relationship? Do this Both Before and After Counseling for a Before and After Comparison Emotions and Major Communication Models Dealing with Sex and Shame and Shadow You might find the next few articles have very practical applications. Feel free to adapt them to help people you think might benefit. Self Assessment for Your Own Sexual Conduct (bonus: Self assessment for your organization) Self assessment When You Can't Stop Thinking About Sexual Images and Thoughts Managing Ruminating Thoughts Assessment for Your University and Prevention/Early Intervention of Sexual Misconduct Administration Self-Assessment For Preventing Sexual Misconduct Being Considerate and Thoughtful, Respectful of Others: Building a Culture of Empathy Am I Considerate? What to Say/Do When You See Something Wrong: Upstander Culture and Training (It is easier than you might realize) What to Say Training- part 1 What to Say Upstander Training- part 2 Upstander Training- part 3 Upstander Training- part 4 Protector Identity and Culture How to Do Emotions Series (very handy for excelling in therapy) Feel Your Feelings Rather than Intellectualize Common Mistakes to Avoid Please Do Not Spew Emotions, Express Them Be Prepared For the Session: What Should We Talk About in Therapy Today? Step by Step How to Do Feelings, Through Discharging Them I Was Taught Not to Feel 5 Emotion Exercises to Practice Your Skills Step by Step: How Feelings Work Couples Self Check-in (Post Counseling Check Up) at 45 days, 90 days, 120 days and a year after your last session Self Serve Means You Can Go At the Pace That Works for You Let's Do This -Before We Begin Counseling and then once more -45 Days After We End- Keeping Ourselves on Track Simple Relationship Check- in; Suggested for 90 days After Closing With Counseling How are we Doing? -With an Improvement Plan; Suggested for 120 days Post-Therapy One Year After We Stopped Therapy- A Shared Relationship Conversation Please Practice Between the Sessions Practice Until You Get it Right, Then Practice Until You Cannot Get it Wrong Excuses The Progression of Skills Checklists and Micro-checklists Overlooked Micro-lists That Help The Skills be Effective Conflict Insights Good Information to Know to be More Emotionally Connected with Your Partner: How We Handle Hurt Now That We Know Better Feelings, Triggers and Emotional Escalation- How to Navigate Them in Relationships I Statement Practice- Getting in Your Reps on the Most Common Topics Invisible Labor (You Overlook Because it is not Visible) and Emotional Labor (Who Does the Work on Feelings) in Romantic Relationships- Resentment is Common Here More Effective Ways to Say "Ouch" So the Person Hearing it is Less Likely to Get Defensive and Can Continue Listening Well "Ouch" -Phrases to Use When Something Hurts -and You Want Them to Understand You and Respond non- Defensively It is Safe to be Vulnerable When... (Setting Up Emotional Safety) Feelings and Trauma; Feeling or Thinking and Successfully Being in Your Body Bonus Material: Sacred Sexuality Workbooks You will find that if you do the workbooks as a couple, they are highly focused on communication, specific exercises and applicable immediately for sexuality and useful for relationships in general. They are free to download. The first one is a good overview, then go to the pre retreat. Sacred Sexuality Retreat Workbook Pre retreat Sacred Sexuality Workbook Sacred Sexuality Self-Paced (Exercises) Post- Retreat Sacred Sexuality Workbook Spectacular Sex Exercises and PT for the Pelvic Floor for men aged 40 and beyond |
Exciting News: Beginning August 1, 2026, Boice Counseling for Couples joined Path Forward Counseling.
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| Don Boice is now with Path Forward Counseling |
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