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The Mediocre Mediator Scrapes By

2/17/2019

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​Beware the Bare Minimum Mediator
 
Think about a mediator who is involved in professional mediation organizations, reads mediation books, mediation articles, mediation blogs and gets regular training in mediation. That is someone who “Gets” mediation, values it highly and unlocks the potential of mediation. That’s not a slacker or someone who wants the bare minimum.
 
Compare that to someone who claims to be a “certified mediator” (This is fiction. It does not exist.) and has the bare minimum 40 hours introduction to mediation training and is still doing things in a one-size-fits-all mentality. No matter the person’s professional background, the mindset it vital; that’s where mediation is more valuable than litigation.
 
When is a mediator not really a mediator?
Are they practicing mediation, from a legal perspective, and doing what is referred to as the unauthorized practice of law and pretending it is mediation? You don’t want a frustrated litigator who doesn’t understand that mediation is a completely different mindset. There’s no value in that.
 
I feel badly for attorneys who are new to mediation and try to be a lawyer during the mediation. They don’t get it. They can’t practice law during mediation (it is called the unauthorized practice of law UPL) and they have to override the lawyer mindset. Mediation is outside of the legal system and has more options than the legal system has. Sometimes a new lawyer who is practicing as a mediator has to work extra hard to be a good mediator because of this.
 
My guess is that you are choosing mediation because you want a better service, a service that allows you to do what makes sense to you and your partner that achieves the life goals of your family. You are not looking for legal outcomes that are in direct opposition to your goals. You opted for mediation because it is based on common sense and believing that partners can make better decisions than a judge can make. You opted for mediation because you can cooperate and act in the best interests of your family and you don’t want someone creating a dispute where there was no dispute.
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    Don Boice
    Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.  

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