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Continued from previous post (thought catalog)
23-It’s Not Cool To Avoid Confrontation You’re out and about, having a great day, when you get the dreaded, “We need to talk” text from your partner. A million things go through your head and in the end, you decide to ignore the text for as long as possible. Out of sight, out of mind…right? Well, not always. In fact, it’s not even sometimes. Most of the time, this just builds anxiety. Don’t stress over what your partner could be talking about. Just meet up, talk, and find out for yourself. Men tell me that they’d rather have bamboo shoots shoved under their nails than have the “We need to talk” conversation. 22-Playing The Victim 100% Of The Time Isn’t Cool Either It’s really easy to pretend you did nothing wrong so you’re just the victim in every circumstance that ever pops up in your relationship. The thing is, if you want to have a real partnership, you’ve got to admit when you make mistakes. Not everything can possibly be your partner’s fault – you’ve got to own up to the mistakes you make or the misunderstandings you created. No one wants to stick with a perpetual victim, or worse – someone with a victim mentality. Besides, whoever is the victim, makes the other the perpetrator. The victim in your situation is likely not 100% innocent and blameless, despite what they say. I don’t know about you, but if someone tells me they are the victim and they want me to play the role of the perpetrator, I’m not happy. 21-It’s Ok To Be Wrong Sometimes As crazy as it might sound, no, you’re not always right. Your partner may yield to your whims more often than not, but that doesn’t mean your decision to spend your entire paycheck on a new wardrobe was a good idea – it just meant that your partner is crazy patient and open to looking past your propensity to spend money you really shouldn’t. Remember this when your next argument comes up – are you willing to listen to what he has to say or are you giving him an ultimatum? Don’t back your relationship into a corner and just admit that sometimes you’re capable of making mistakes too. Psst, did you know that not everyone apologizes the same way? If you go to the five languages of love.com website, there is an apology profile tab. Take the quiz and see what type of apology you prefer to receive. It can raise your own self awareness and challenge you to give an apology geared to the receiver. Oh, and “I’m sorry that you feel that way,” isn’t an apology, but it can fool some people. “I am sorry I did x and that it hurt,” is much better. |
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