​Are you emotionally connected to yourself? To your partner?
Are you depressed?
Are you angry?

Be self aware- what is it that you need for yourself right now?

Ask your partner what they need.

Sometimes it is as simple as being understood. Maybe it is sitting in silence on the couch watching a movie until the mood passes.

You cannot be emotionally connected without emotions, so tune in there
Tune in to your attitude and how it matches your partner.
Do you match your partner's breathing and other non verbals?
Tune into how you are matching one another with behavior and use of words.

Do you want your partner to contact you and are unwilling to ask for it?

Go into full empathy mode repeatedly in your time together.
 
This is the “work “ people talk about when they say relationships are hard work.
 
Do this process over and over and you stay attached and attuned. Tune out and you lose the connection.
 
Pay attention to this and when you realize you’re day dreaming, tune back in to their feelings, attitude and body language again. Over and over again...

Integrity

She asked him what he meant, when he told her that he questioned her integrity.

"If I say I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. If I say that I like you and I have your back, that's what I mean.

I follow through.

If I tell you something, it is true. I have really high standards and I expect you to keep your word, to be honest and have integrity even when it is difficult. If your emotions get strong, I still expect you to do what you promised. I expect you to grow and push your limits.

You are simply not my caliber and I will not tolerate that."

​In my office, I hear couples talk to one another and most are respectful most of the time. Most try to persuade ethically and some have blind spots about their logic. Blind spots in this case means they don’t see that what they are doing isn’t working.
     Consider also social media and fuzzy logic you might see there. I find it better to be able to name the fallacy so then you can help the person make their point better rather than be rude or attacking. We can disagree without being disagreeable. If you have a good point, a point that is better than mine, and you make your point with logic, I would prefer to hear it and go from there.
     I think it is time to go back to teaching logic so the next generation can reason through the issues they will face and not fall for the logical fallacies. I challenge people reading this to look at problems with logic and make sure we don’t add to the overall problem. Learn what is logical and what appears to be logical.
     False cause fallacy- You weaken your case when you come to a conclusion without having enough evidence to do so.
     You do it too- Ever hear/read someone make the case that you cannot believe the other person because “they do it too,” pretending that simply because one is a hypocrite, they cannot tell the truth. Be careful when you hear this argument, many get fooled by it.
     Don’t fall for getting distracted in an argument with some sentiment that seems to be relevant but isn’t really on-topic. That’s called a red herring logical fallacy.
   The “Hasty Generalization” fallacy is when someone sees one example and pretends that the one example applies to every situation. Cannot support their claim.
    There is a fallacy when a statement appeals to emotion and distracts from the real issue, urging the person to blindly follow without thinking clearly.
When we teach logic, people are able to think for themselves. We still want that.
     Breaking the speed limit law is not equivalent to killing someone. Likewise, not all lies are exactly the same as the false equivalency fallacy would have you believe.
     When the argument the person is making is strong, weak people attack the person - the ad hominem fallacy.
   The straw man fallacy is when someone pretends the opposing side is making a point that is ridiculous and attacks the pretend point making themselves look better- unless people see through you.
     You made up an argument the other side doesn’t really make and attacked that. You lost integrity when you did that.
     Reasoning fails when limiting options to two - there are more options to choose from. “You’re either for us or you are against us.”
    Unlikely or ridiculous outcomes are likely - there’s just not enough evidence to think so. It takes away your credibility when you use the Slippery slope fallacy.
    Your point is just repeating what they already assumed. You are confirming their bias without any evidence or support. The conclusion is where you started. Circular reasoning
    People will stop believing you when you use logical fallacies. If you can point these out to friends and see through false arguments, then we have a better chance of civil discourse.