​How was your day? Surface, deep, get to know me
 
I’ve worked with couples on this for years.
 
If you’re someone who values emotional connection, and you ask your partner how their day was, which of the following would you prefer to hear?
 
How was your day? Fine
 
How was your day? The usual
 
How was your day? Well I had a really interesting day. It started off with some really interesting dreams and when I woke up I didn’t remember that they were dreams I actually thought it happened in real life. I had a lot of intense feelings about the dream and it kind of messed me up for the first part of the day.
 
When I got to work there are some things that happened that I didn’t expect and I found myself kind of frustrated and not being the Best version of myself. I was able to catch myself and change the image in my head, and talk to myself differently. It wasn’t really that big a deal but I was making it very big in my head. I realize that I can be in control of that and change it, so I did. I found that when I took control of that the rest of my day was easier for me to handle. I sometimes forget that life isn’t happening to me that there’s cause-and-effect and I believe that I can do something to cause an effect.
 
Or
I’m really having a hard time. I’m not OK. I’m having some anxiety and depression and I know that I have to do something about it because it feels like it’s happening to me and I don’t want to be a victim. I’m feeling really overwhelmed and I’m not sure how to get out of my own way. And sometimes at work I don’t feel really understood or seen. I don’t like feeling invisible. I don’t like to think that I don’t matter. And yet sometimes that’s how I feel at work. I think it’s time for me to go back into counseling.
 
Or
 
Today was a Great day, I really enjoyed it.
 
I felt like I was on fire in a good way. I feel like I was able to get everything done that I wanted to get done and I was really in the flow, really aligned. I really love days like that. The day just went so fast and as soon as I knew it the day was over.
 
Each of these answered the question how was your day? Each one gave a different depth. How deep would you like to go with your partner?
 
The idea here is to give them information so that they can know who you are.
 
Every day were changing and growing and developing. We’re still the same person but we’re growing and we’re having challenges. Are we partners in this challenge and this journey we call life? Are we just partners at the end of the day or do you want me to be with you through all the challenges in your day and understand things that are going on? If you have challenges at work and they affect you at home, I want to know about them. I actually feel entitled to them if I am your partner. If you are struggling with some thing and growing and we are partners in my definition of the word partner, you tell me what’s going on. You give me a context. You allow me to get to know you. And I allow you to get to know me. We want to know each other and by the way that’s the definition of intimacy is allowing you to know me.
 
Do you want to know your partner?
 
Words, words, words, is that all you have is words? Not everybody is very verbal and not everybody appreciates talking and processing feelings. That doesn’t mean that they’re shallow that means they do it differently. Some people do it with music, some people do it with nature or physicality, some people do it with art some people do it with words there’s really no end of ways that you can express yourself and connect. Please don’t let yourself to the use of words or by the use of words.
 
Having said that when someone asks you how your day was? Do you now know what they’re really asking. They’re telling you I want to get to know you and I want to know if there’s anything important about you and I want to update my information about you so that I know who you are. How was your day is really who are you today and an expression of support that I love you and want to be with you and be there for you. If you need me I’m here for you. We’re on the same team, we’re partners.

​Barbara Brennan info on cancer

Go to a doctor to deal with cancer and feel free to add to that with these concepts.

Hands of Light book
 
On page 238 she describes the color meaning on the soul task level.
 
On page 239, she talks about color used in healing.
What the color is and what it’s used for.
In the narrative, she describes what different colors mean to her.
 
Page 240 she talks about the black velvet light and sitting in the void in the oneness of God with patients who have cancer.
 
All the colors of the rainbow are used in healing, and each color has its own affect in the field.
 
Red is used to charge the field, to burn out cancer and warm cold areas.
 
Orange charges the field, increases sexual, potency as well as immunity.
 
Yellow is used to clear a foggy head and help the linear mind function well.
 
Green is a general balancer and Healer for all things.
Indigo opens the third eye and enhances visualization and clears the head.
 
White has used to charge the field bring peace and comfort and take away pain.
 
Gold is used to restructure the seventh layer, strengthen and charge the field.
 
Velvet black brings the patient into a State of Grace, silence and peace with God. It is good in restructuring bones crumbled from cancer or other trauma.
 
Purple-blue takes away pain- when doing deep tissue work and work on bone cells. It helps expand the patient’s field in order to connect to her task.
 
To sit within the black velvet void means sitting in silence and peace. It means completely being there, in fullness and without judgment. It means going into a state of Grace and bringing your patient to be in that grace with you. It can bring the patient into a state of oneness with the divine -to sit in this place for a whole hour at a time.
 
Color in the aura is directly related to sound.
 
Sounding specific pitches into the field not only produces specific colors in the field, it is also a powerful agent of healing.
 
Every chakra has a different pitch in every person and each particular chakra is slightly different.
 
To find the pitch for each chakra, I vary the range a bit until I hit a resonance.
 
It can be heard and felt by the patient. I can also watch the Chakra respond to the sound.
 
When I hit the right pitch, the chakra tenses up and begins to spin rapidly and evenly and its color brightens up. After holding the sound for some time, the chakra is charged and strengthened enough to hold its new level of energy.
 
Dolores Krieger, in her book, “Therapeutic Touch” gives very good color modulation exercises.
 
What does it feel like to be in a certain color?
 It’s not visualizing it.
You must be the color.
 
Whatever that means to you.
 
Chemotherapy clogs the whole auric field, but especially the liver, with greenish brown mucus like energy.
 
Radiation therapy frays the structured layers of the auric field like a burned nylon stocking.
 
Surgery causes scars in the first layer of the field and sometimes all the way to the seventh layer.
 
If left distorted, the physical body will have a much more difficult time healing itself.
 
If a chakra is imbalanced, disease will result.
 
Look at a particular organ -ask to see it.
Allow your third eye to be open and the rest of your mind calm and see what you can see.
 
In the early stages, cancer looks dark, gray blue.
As it progresses, it turns to black in the aura.
 
Later, white spots appear in the black. When the white spots sparkle and move out like a volcano, the cancer has metastasized.
 
Imagine trauma in a chakra or at least a disturbance before surgery.
Imagine a surgery causing more trauma to the chakra. A healer will go in and restore balance to the chakra (this might take several one hour sessions)
 
Pre-and post surgery-Imagine strengthening the chakra and the auric system.
 
Now, imagine withdrawing energy (avoiding the feelings and running away from the pain) from an area because you don’t want to endure or feel the emotional pain.
 
Imagine silver and lavender light filling in an infected area. Those vibrations will knock the microorganisms loose.
 
Imagine labeling your drinking bottle, even your chemotherapy bottle of fluid that went into you, “pure love.”
 
Spiritual Guidance
Sit for guidance, sit in a comfortable meditative position, center yourself, and lift your consciousness.
Formulate a question in your mind as clearly as you can.
Focus on wanting to know the truth about that question no matter what the answer is. Focus and silence the mind.
Wait for an answer to come to you.
After sometime in silence, you will begin to receive an answer.
It might be in the form of pictures, feelings, general concepts, words, or even smells. You may think it’s irrelevant, but keep writing.
Practice practice practice
 
Go back and read what you’ve written four hours later and you’ll find it of interest. Keep a notebook, paper and pencil for this purpose.
 

 
Barbara Brennan Light Emerging Book
Chemotherapy pollutes the liver and weakens the body‘s natural immune system. Healing enhances liver function. 
 
Radiation therapy breaks the first layer of the energy field into splinters, like broken glass; healing energy repairs it. Imagine doing healing after every single radiation.
 
Multiple sclerosis patients need red and orange because the first and second chakras are the most affected.
 
All cancer patients need gold, since cancer has a torn open aura on the seventh level, which is gold. 
 
Cancer patients also need the color of the chakra in the area that the cancer is located in the body. For example, liver or pancreatic cancer patients need yellow and peach, the colors of the third chakra on the second and fourth levels of the field, respectively.

​Cancer healing ideas from Barbara Brennan and Jack Schwarz

Cancer

Obviously, consult with your doctor. If these ideas do not resonate, do not use them. Here are what two accomplished healers have to say about their experience with cancer.
 
Your experience might be different.
 
Jack Schwarz, “Please stop avoiding pain, stop avoiding consciousness -the most specific direct and unavoidable consequence of the lack of consciousness is cancer.” He talks about what happens when we just wing it in life instead of go into deeper awareness.
 
“All the growth that is possible for you to achieve already exists latent or hidden. It may be hidden in your conscious mind, but alive and active in the paraconscious.
Stay in conscious contact with your paraconscious. That way, you always know the direction in which you are growing.” Your unconscious is a great ally for you when you ask it to help. It can be as simple as asking, “Hey, unconscious, is there something that would help me right now?” Then be open to hearing an answer, which may or may not make sense to you. More often than not, it reminds you of something you already know.
 
“Stagnant energy becomes an obstruction that inhibits the flow of many of the other forms of energy in your body and then condenses the energy.” You want to consistently check in with your energy and see what is blocked, stuck, stagnant instead of freely flowing. Freely flowing energy is your ally.
 
“The body chemistry begins to produce mutant cells instead of normal cells when your energy stagnates. Every moment of our lives demands that we change- because the world constantly changes. Only when we freeze -when we try to stop the flow, does this change result in dysfunction.
 
Any energy, faculty, capability, or physical aspect of the body that is restrained and not used, causes the body’s chemistry to produce substances that are denser than normal.” Cancer tends to be dense and looks black to someone doing energy healing. They send the color red to the cancer to make it less dense. When it is dense, it does not heal easily. Sending red and then white light to it makes it easier to heal and move on.
 
“You are getting feedback (about your energy flow) all the time, but you were simply not paying attention to it.” In our society, we are not always in touch with the energy. There is no blame attached to this, just saying that when we are aware of a continuous feedback loop, we have more options for early intervention. How do you know when you are getting feedback?
 
“When you feel annoyed, pay attention to it, if you ignore this feedback, you’ve denied your own insight. When you deny your insight, you lose direction of who you are, and your will, they become neglected, and start to stagnate.” (Page 138) Think of how you recreate yourself and your cells. If you remember who you are (figuratively) you recreate yourself. If you don’t honor your insight, your feedback, the cells you create will not reflect who you are. These mutant cells are thought to be what is the catalyst for cancer.
 
“Another critical conscious moment of choices is when you suddenly doubt yourself, you suddenly follow someone else’s ideas by comparing yourself with someone else.
This is the first step toward alienating an aspect of yourself. Once communication breaks down, the internal war begins. Early warning signals are ignored, repressive reactions, and then the cancer moves into the third stage, malignant tumors. The body has now developed a plant for the reproduction of mutant cells, and other bodily functions begin to suffer a loss of nutrition and energy.” Again, the idea is not to blame, but to inform. When we are at war within, this is thought to contribute to cancer. When we are at peace within, we are less likely to fall prey to cancer. What do you need to do to reconcile with yourself? Where is there inner conflict and how can you address that now? Never a bad idea to reduce inner conflict…
                         
“You do not have to look outside yourself for the approach to cancer in the first stages -the cure is consciousness.” Healing does not always mean a physical cure. It might be what you need in order to heal the inner conflict.
 
“Discover the part of mind, body, or spirit that is falling asleep, and needs to be aroused. Reconnect that part of yourself to the rest of your being. Take advantage of the feedback your organism already gives you. At the very least, concentrate on your cerebral feedback.” Again, any distress or disease can be linked to forgetting who we are at our core. Remember who you are and act from this core, fulling aligned with the heavens and the earth, for the highest good of all. An aspirational goal, to be sure.
 
“Full consciousness is total immunity from disease. At this point, creative meditation and the chakra check can provide the essential information you need.” You are vibing at a much higher rate and have addressed the serenity challenges. As you are more calm internally, you are less likely to have inflammation or pain as a causal factor for disease. You are more likely to intervene early on, when you are experiencing inner peace.
 
“Once the cancer has reached the fourth stage, and an elevated level of malignancy has developed, the system is often severely depleted. The body is so exhausted that it has difficulty in putting strength to the growth and health of new cells. Massive outside assistance is usually required at this point. That is why we should try to prevent this disease in the first place if we can.” Get help for every system and get people in your corner to help you restore your equilibrium and optimal health. At this stage, reaching out is your best strategy, until you can return to healing yourself. Even then, still getting help from others is advised, if not necessary.
 
“All of us are related. All parts of us are related.” When a part of you feels like it is at war with another part, that is dis ease.
 
“Imagine what would happen if our energy centers, or chakras were ever to operate at their full capacity, we would start to evolve into more advanced organisms.” They talk about healthy being a goal, but we tend to forget that we can have optimal health and beyond when we attend to our energy centers. Again, this does not just affect the body, but consciousness. Some people heal their consciousness and the body does not regain full health. This is not a common concept for Westerners.
 
How can we help now? What can we do when we notice that energy is blocked or stagnant?
“Surround any blockage with white light. Imagine your breath is being inhaled and exhaled through this place in your body.”

​Barbara Brennan also contributes to a different understanding of cancer and how to help heal the body/mind/spirit

​Apologize
Did you know that there’s actually an apology profile? It’s on the five languages of love website. Apparently people like to hear an apology differently.
 
My preference for an apology is to hear, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I hurt you. I’m sorry that you are also hurting. And here’s what I’m gonna do differently to make sure that I don’t hurt you again in the future.”
 
An apology is not, “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
“You shouldn’t feel that way.”
 
That’s a non-apology apology
“I am sorry that you are in pain. Your pain matters to me.” Lands very differently than, “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
Solving the problem when someone tells you that they’re hurting is not the same thing as an apology.
 
Playing devils advocate is not an apology.
 
Telling someone they’re looking at the situation wrong when they’re telling you that they’re hurting, is not an apology.
Stay with the person- preference their feelings, put their feelings first. They’re telling you that they hurt, does it matter to you that they hurt? Even if you think they’re wrong, even if you don’t agree with them, does compassion flow from you when you’re here that someone is hurting?
 
Everyone on the planet is self-absorbed at one point or another. We’re all a little bit on the selfish side.
 
When someone tells you that they’re hurting, can you put yourself aside it to the side, and hear them out?
Can you hold space for them and just listen to what they have to say, actively listen to what they’re saying so that they feel understood. Don’t add suffering to suffering. Don’t harm them when they’re feeling low or hurt.
 
“Your pain matters to me. When I see that you are hurt, it concerns me. I want to be there for you and support you when you’re hurting. And I want you to be there when I’m hurting as well.”
We call this “empathy”
Being able to put ourselves into the other person’s shoes and feel their experience from their first person view. This usually comes with some listening and then compassion tends to flow from that empathy.
 
When somebody apologizes, it means a lot to the person hearing it, if done well.
 
I often hear people saying that their partner does not apologize well. They can say the words “I’m sorry,” the tone however does not demonstrate sincerity genuineness or authenticity.
 
They are unable to give the context of why there are sorry. Are you sorry that you got caught? Are you sorry that you now have to deal with the consequences of your action? Are you sorry that you hurt somebody by your actions? Or are you making it about you and you’re beating yourself up, or making them the bad person for confronting you on bad behavior? Did you turn an apology into an attack? Are you getting defensive and putting your needs in front of your partners needs?‘