We need to hold one another accountable. We need to confront one another and help each other grow. How you do it is vital. Tell him what you need from him without beating him down. You wouldn’t criticize your child when they are learning to walk, would you? That is what it feels like sometimes with life. Criticism does not help the situation. The goal is to build one another, not weaken one another, right? What is the expression about getting more flies with honey?
We are working on growing into the higher level of interdependence, not independence and definitely not over dependence.
“He can’t feel what you can feel.
“Remember it is just as difficult for him to remain open and receive your criticism especially when he can see that you’re not coming from a place of love. Ultimately, as you grow in your capacity to live love through your body, you will no longer depend on your man to “be there for you.“
“He will no longer depend on you to give him comfort and rejuvenation.
“These are real gifts when they are given and received freely, but when your ability to relax in the bliss of love depends on them, they become expectations that limit growth.
“Your man knows how to express his non-desire for you, the woman, with as much precision as you know how to weaken him with your energy.
“Give and receive love in all you do, through everything you do- infuse your life
“As you give your gift more fully and you become more aware of your kinks. As you hold yourself back to avoid feeling any kinks you don’t let your gift to shine you hold back your deepest gift- undo these forces of habit!” Deida
Have you tried doing the exercises on a regular basis (The Art of Sexual Ecstasy by Margo Anand) yet? Are you practicing this particular one 10-20 times before it becomes comfortable during sex? It is time to get the book, and read it, if you have not already done so. Here is an exercise to practice: Sexual Breathing