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The Mediation Center

6/27/2017

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Had a wonderful tour of The Mediation Center, conveniently located at 95 Allen's Creek.   


Grateful for giving me a warm welcome to the mediation field and love the office set-up for mediation. The New York State Council on Divorce Mediation President, Renee LaPoint is also the past President of Rochester Association of Family Mediators. 


When you're looking for a mediator, or learning more about mediation, give the center a call. 


The Mediation Center
95 Allen’s Creek Road
Building 2, Suite 123
Rochester, NY 14618

(585) 269-8140
Email: renee@mediationctr.com
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Divorce Mediation Training Postponed

6/15/2017

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Ever had one of those weeks?

I had been preparing since December for my new business venture. Those of you who know me well, know how thorough I am. Marketing plan, business plan, getting websites to share, updating blogs, reading a bunch of books, going to another conference, spending weekends working on all this, researching how to establish a mini legal library, social media strategy, new paperwork, website updated, week by week schedule for tasks, work schedule adjusted accordingly, financial strategy for no income for a week and then the training organization cancelled the Divorce Mediation training.

...which means that I have to delay starting that part of my business. Oh, and I contacted them before they contacted me, which irritates me even more. Not even a week before the training.

Now, I have to get a new training, travel to NYC (should be fun!) and stay in a hotel, not quite doubling the cost of the training. So, December 1, 2017 is when I should be able to start offering it, most likely my first clients will be in January 2018. Part of me feels guilty for complaining about a first world problem. "There is no "I" in mediation," but there are two... and "me" starts the darn word.
​
When you need to cancel a training, please consider the audience and their needs and the impact of this on them. I was livid and tactfully confronted them before asking for my money back. That was simply too big a series of business decisions on their part and too big an impact on my business to trust them ever again.

When it opens in December, I hope to be more polished and primed. Please consider me when you hear that someone is looking for a divorce mediator. I cannot mediate for a couple that I previously counseled because it is considered a conflict of interest. 

Thank you in advance for your referrals.
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Are You Fair?

6/11/2017

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Fair?
 
From Marshall Rosenberg-​
"I guess what I want is for you to smile and say that anything I do is OK. "
Often the use of vague and abstract language is used to mask an oppressive interpersonal game. 
 
For example "when I say that I want responsibility, what I really mean is that I want him to do what I ask, without question. I want him to jump when I say jump, and smile when doing it.  I realize that would demonstrate obedience rather than responsibility and that's not fair. "

Many times when working with people, they confess how awful they have been, but didn't realize it until after. They were unreasonable or unrealistic. They knew they were doing the wrong thing, but didn't really care at the time. They are not horrible people, but their behavior was not stellar.

So, when we focus so much on communication, we often forget that behavior is vital, as is follow through. Communication does not solve everything. One couple reminded me of this, "Don, her communication is crystal clear and I thank you for that. She is clear that she does not like me and wants me out of her life."

I'd like to say that was not a true story.

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    Don Boice
    Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.  

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