Happy Thanksgiving
Imagine living a life of gratitude. Just saying thank you over and over changes your mood. It might not do more than that, but if your mood can improve, isn’t that worth it?

What if you really meant it, though? Focus your attention on what is good in your world and keep your focus there. Tell people what you appreciate about them. You feel better and people around you tend to appreciate being appreciated and being around someone in a good mood. What’s the downside? I don’t think there is one. Yes, the negative exists and you are aware of that. Don’t pretend the negative isn’t there. Acknowledge it and get on with your life. Can you shift the negative? If so, do so. Dwelling on the negative doesn’t help anything. If the problem can be fixed, fix it. Move on.

Christmas is around the corner and I keep hearing people wondering what they can buy for their loved ones. Why not a gift of service, tailored to that person. How well do you really know that person? Can you spend time with them and get to know them better, working on your connection, telling them what you appreciate about them?

Could you volunteer together at a homeless shelter? That benefits your relationship and the people you serve. Volunteering and serving makes us happier, so there’s that. Would you donate to their favorite charity? For example, “the gift of clean water” is an option from www.Heifer.org and it keeps on giving to the village. You feel better for improving the planet, the lives of people who have limited access to clean drinking water and you are sharing the merit of that action with your loved one.

How about working with them on a Habitat for Humanity house? Great charity, good time spent together helping others, being physically active and bonding…

Do you have any traditions in  your family that help you celebrate your appreciation and gratitude?

​Imagine going to a counselor before there’s a problem...to create a better future for you and your partner. .. to increase the odds of it working out successfully.
 
Personally, I would rather anticipate and then prevent a problem. It is easier, less painful and causes less stress than repair and recovery once you discover the problem. If you know yourself, you know what your issues are and you can make a good guess as to the fact that this particular issue is going to surface in your next relationship. What if you took care of it before it affected the relationship? What if you know what the issues will be in your relationship and you went as a couple to a couples counselor before the issues affected you, not to play clean up the mess.
 
Imagine in the first year of dating, regularly going to a counselor to improve your communication skills and stack the deck in your favor. The downside? Even if you break up, you walk away with valuable relationship/communication skills for use with a future partner.
 
Or think about this: Your relationship with yourself dictates how well your relationship with others is going to be. If you can improve your relationship with yourself, you create your future. If you can resolve issues, you are less likely to affect your future relationships.
 
Many people don’t choose counseling until the problem is almost insurmountable.
 
Imagine doing good self-care and self-love so that in the new relationship you’re able to love that other person more deeply and more fully. When you are self critical, you are more likely to be critical of others. When you are compassionate to yourself, you increase your odds of being compassionate to your partner. Imagine being as healthy as you can be!