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Who Might We Use to Help Us Understand Our Finances?

12/19/2019

I work with people going through divorce, not just marriage counseling. Either way, couples or individuals can talk to Lou and create a strategy for their financial goals:

Lou Falvo provides financial planning services to individuals and families. The overall goal of financial planning is to integrate tax, insurance, and investment planning into a comprehensive plan that helps individuals and families alike strategically maximize their assets to reach their financial goals. He also specializes in divorce financial planning and offers creative options, financial analysis and strategies necessary to help you pursue the most financially advantageous settlement possible.

If you are interested:

Louis A. Falvo, CIMA®, CDFA®
CEO and Founder
Cross Roads Divorce Advisors, LLC
1159 Pittsford-Victor Road, Suite 140, Pittsford, NY 14534
(585) 542-2382 (Direct)

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Please Listen Before We Fix It Together

12/12/2019

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“You hear me say that there is something wrong and then, the next step -solve it? But if you “solve” it now, before you clarify, that meets your needs (make it go away) not mine. I am me, not you. Please, listen all the way through, then my preference would be to solve it together with my input.”
“Huh?”

“Well, otherwise, you not only don’t solve the actual problem, you’re signaling not listening, signaling not valuing working with me and you’re imposing your solution on me- from my perspective. That signals that you want the problem to go away, not that you want me to be comforted. Is that your intent?”
“No”

“Oftentimes your solution is distance and separation from you. Your first option is to say we should spend time apart. Is that what you need from me when you’re having a rough time? What inspires you to consistently offer that option first?”
crickets

Do you get the sense that this conversation is going to end well?

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How Do You Predict This Relationship Fares?

12/5/2019

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“Here’s how you could get to know me better, if you’re interested,” he offered.
“Oh, okay,” she said.
“So, you are interested?”
“I want to get to know you, Yes”
Crickets

“So you’re interested, you’re just not going to do it?” he asked, feeling confused and irritated.
Crickets

“Do you want me to get to know you better?” she asked.
“Yes” he readily answered, adding “What’s a good way for you?”
Crickets

He furthered, “You thinking about an answer?”
“No” she replied.
“I am so confused,” he said.

Believe it or not, this happens in my office.

When I play this back for people, they finally see themselves doing that. They are aghast because they thought they had responded out loud. Some people answer in their head but do not say what is on their mind. Can you imagine how this couple fared?

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Who Might We Use to Help Us Understand Our Finances?

Please Listen Before We Fix It Together

How Do You Predict This Relationship Fares?

Don Boice
Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.

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Who Might We Use to Help Us Understand Our Finances?

Please Listen Before We Fix It Together

How Do You Predict This Relationship Fares?

Don BoiceDon Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.

Archives

Categories

Don Boice
Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.