Feelings get in the way. It is not matter of fact. It hurts and we regress, we go back into past feelings and it kicks up stuff all the time. It takes us back to our childhood sometimes. Regression happens. Feelings are by definition, not rational or logical. Stop thinking that a decision based on feelings is logical. It is not. This might help you let go of making sense of it.
Just earlier today I was able to be an adult and when the feelings come up, I somehow lost those skills. Think about separation and loss and how you responded then and now. Forget about separating from your spouse- there are separations from friends, family, children, neighborhood etc. Your lifestyle, home, some values and roles are gone or forever altered. Now add the division of money and things and all that entails. “I am losing the world as I know it.
The unknown terrifies me. Yeah, other than that, everything is okay.”
“Share with your sibling,” writes Howard Yahm in an article about regression. That concept always went over well, right? Now share with the person you are divorcing and deal with the emotions of it and do it quickly to get it over with.
You have to deal with the feelings if you want to be successful with the divorcing couple.