Quietly- relax yourself. Get yourself mellow by breathing more deeply and slowly. (Mirror neurons help the other person feel relaxed when you are relaxed.)
Remind yourself, “It does not matter” several hundred times
Tap your left then right hand on your leg- several times (activating left and right brain for balancing thoughts and emotions)
Hum to yourself, then count to five, then hum again (use different parts of your brain to bump the thought out)
Find joy or gratitude for yourself in the situation
Validate what your partner is feeling “I get why you would feel that way. Tell me more about it.”
“I see your point”
Help them laugh, if they are receptive- do not force them or dismiss their emotions
Do not talk someone out of their emotions or tell them to calm down- not helpful
Ask if they want you to distract them for a few minutes- if yes- have them count backwards or say a phone number backwards, then exhale deeply
Take a walk together
Talk about a walk on the beach when you were visiting Hawaii
Ask them if they want to feel less stressed and ask them to tell the stress to leave, then watch it blow away or evaporate like rain after a storm. Notice how when it evaporates, it is gone, there’s no trace of it. There’s a different feeling in the body where it once was. Ask them to bring back the stress- try really hard and point out they cannot because it is gone.
UPCOMING EVENTS: Location is 572 Titus Avenue unless otherwise noted. Space is limited, sign up today- text Don Boice 585 802-1273 and tell him which offerings you want.
-July 10 (Sunday 2-3:30 group one; 4-5:30 group two- both groups learn same topic. Need a babysitter? Have one of you come to group one and the partner come to group two)
Passion Series Intro-First 4 couples who sign up are free ($50 per person value)
Experience the felt sense of being in love and explore how you may be blocking passion in your personal life and in the life of the couple. Ask for what you need directly and honestly, without blaming and without complaining and watch the sparks fly! Recommended reading Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson, Vulnerability YouTube by Brene Brown
-July 13 (Weds 6:30-8pm)
Fanning the Flames: Keep the Passion in Your Relationship
at the Brainery- have to sign up through their website- $15 per person
Want to reduce the likelihood of feeling lonely, out of love, like roommates? Learn tried and true ways to build and sustain emotional connection, to regularly kindle warm feelings, get the spark and keep it, deepen emotional intimacy, romantic feelings and physical intimacy. Take home exercises that increase passion and desire for your loved one, using the latest in neuroscience and marriage counseling.
Sign up required through the Brainery website Rochesterbrainery.com