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Stop Interfering

2/26/2014

Let me know what you think, I have been re-reading the Diamond Heart books:

“I want things to be different than they are now” is a common thought we have now and it invalidates or rejects our current experience. This is how things are now, experience them and watch how they begin to change. It is okay to feel a desire for things to be different and then just let it be. Often, no action is required and we need to do nothing for things to work out perfectly.

Things have an essence that we cannot change. Whether or not we allow them to be themselves, they are themselves. Take plants, for example. You will not get irises from a rose bush. Let a rose bush be a rose bush, not an iris. What action is required by you to allow this to happen? None, it happens naturally.

“You cannot make yourself grow you can only cease to interfere .
You cannot make yourself happy you can only stop your judgments.
Growth and expansion are natural; they are the life force itself .
You cannot predict its direction.”

I love this stuff!

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I Am Not God- Continued

2/18/2014

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I am re-reading the Diamond Heart Books and wanted to share these ideas with you:

Whenever I complain, I am telling God that God did not get it right. I want God to conform to my view of the world, to bend His will to mine. In counseling, I suggest to people that the two main options they have are 1. Change the world to the way you want it to be 2. Accept the world as it is

“I know how things should be. I know better than God.” This might be how I act, though I would never be so bold as to say those words out loud.

I may like my life right now and then, when life changes, as it does, I complain. Change can be difficult, especially if I am not in charge of the change. Learning how to cope with change is vital because change is all around us. Change is guaranteed, as a matter of fact.

I am not allowing the change because I want it a certain way. If and when I am not in control, I cannot guarantee it will happen the way I want it to happen. I assume that I know the right way or the way it is supposed to happen. This means I have a broader vision of what is good and healthy and that I have some insight into the Divine plan, in other words, it means I am God.

Misery is me making a judgment about how I think reality should go. If I believe that God is in charge and God is good and wants what is best for me, my best move is to get out of the way not interfere and judge God’s performance. There are times I have had a huge preference and really wanted things to go my way. When they did not go my way, I pouted and complained; that is until I realized that what I wanted would have been disastrous. God knows what God is doing and I need to remember this.

Things are going to work out okay, if I allow it to happen and get out of my own way.

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The Other “F” Word

2/11/2014

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Yes, I am talking about feelings. Feelings inform our decisions, our actions and our follow through.

In the book The Untethered Soul, I was especially interested in the part that talked about keeping your heart open, no matter what. If you have feelings you do not like, you tend to avoid or push them down and close down your heart (stifle your life force, your energy) in the process. Keep your heart open and deal openly with the feelings for the best results. Notice how much more energy you have when your heart stays open. Whatever is happening right now gets our focus and as soon as it is done, our attention moves on, if we are living in the moment.

It continues on about feelings and uses similar concepts to those of meditation. When meditating, we try to keep calm (equanimity), no matter what is happening in the outside world. Whether we like or dislike what is happening in the outside world does not matter. What matters is the discipline of observing it, much as one would observe clouds. We do not try to change the clouds or become too attached to the clouds. We simply observe them.

In Buddhism, the teaching is to allow whatever thoughts are there and simply return your focus to your breath. Whether we judge those particular thoughts to be good and lose our focus or judge them as bad and lose our focus, the fact is we have lost our focus. When we are training our mind, focus is important. Stay in the moment and do not let the outside world distract you and “knock you off your game.”

Feelings come into play when we judge the outside world. We like the way we feel when we judge the outside world favorably. We try to keep that feeling and create (control and manipulate) our circumstances so that we experience that particular feeling again. This is different than living in the moment and accepting what is happening, which helps us keep that sense of tranquility.

May you live in the moment today.

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How Spontaneous Are You?

2/7/2014

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I am re-reading the Diamond Heart Books and wanted to share these ideas with you.

Please consider these questions and be rigorously honest with yourself.

How quickly can I let go of my preconceptions and how life “should” be?
Am I open to the new and different adventures life presents me or do I insist on it happening the way I want it to be?

Do I allow myself to be surprised by my experiences?

Can I be okay taking the adventure in front of me even if I do not know how it is going to end up?

Do I allow it to happen?

Spontaneity means going with the flow, understanding that I am safe and secure, I am not the one in charge and that things are going to be okay. I am in harmony with my surroundings and my actions are effortless. Change is happening around me through natural processes. They are simply unfolding and I do not direct that process.

Do I judge it after it happens or do I simply experience the truth of the situation?

When I simply experience it, I better understand it. To understand the situation means to be completely open right now to the truth of the situation. Understanding is radical and transformative, quite different than just having an intellectual grasp of an idea. When I understand something, I feel it in every inch of my body.

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Stop Interfering

I Am Not God- Continued

The Other “F” Word

How Spontaneous Are You?

Don Boice
Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.

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Stop Interfering

I Am Not God- Continued

The Other “F” Word

How Spontaneous Are You?

Don BoiceDon Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.

Archives

Categories

Don Boice
Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.