Boice Counseling
  • Home
  • Retreats and Books
    • Books and Audio
    • Helpful Resources
    • Insurance/Costs
  • Services
  • News/Blog
  • Contact Us

Stop Interfering

2/26/2014

0 Comments

 

Let me know what you think, I have been re-reading the Diamond Heart books:

“I want things to be different than they are now” is a common thought we have now and it invalidates or rejects our current experience. This is how things are now, experience them and watch how they begin to change. It is okay to feel a desire for things to be different and then just let it be. Often, no action is required and we need to do nothing for things to work out perfectly.



Things have an essence that we cannot change. Whether or not we allow them to be themselves, they are themselves. Take plants, for example. You will not get irises from a rose bush. Let a rose bush be a rose bush, not an iris. What action is required by you to allow this to happen? None, it happens naturally.

 “You cannot make yourself grow you can only cease to interfere .
You cannot make yourself happy you can only stop your judgments.
Growth and expansion are natural; they are the life force itself .
You cannot predict its direction.”






I love this stuff!


0 Comments

I Am Not God- Continued

2/18/2014

1 Comment

 

I am re-reading the Diamond Heart Books and wanted to share these ideas with you:

Whenever I complain, I am telling God that God did not get it right. I want God to conform to my view of the world, to bend His will to mine. In counseling, I suggest to people that the two main options they have are 1. Change the world to the way you want it to be 2. Accept the world as it is

“I know how things should be. I know better than God.” This might be how I act, though I would never be so bold as to say those words out loud.

I may like my life right now and then, when life changes, as it does, I complain. Change can be difficult, especially if I am not in charge of the change. Learning how to cope with change is vital because change is all around us. Change is guaranteed, as a matter of fact.

I am not allowing the change because I want it a certain way. If and when I am not in control, I cannot guarantee it will happen the way I want it to happen. I assume that I know the right way or the way it is supposed to happen. This means I have a broader vision of what is good and healthy and that I have some insight into the Divine plan, in other words, it means I am God.

Misery is me making a judgment about how I think reality should go. If I believe that God is in charge and God is good and wants what is best for me, my best move is to get out of the way not interfere and judge God’s performance. There are times I have had a huge preference and really wanted things to go my way. When they did not go my way, I pouted and complained; that is until I realized that what I wanted would have been disastrous. God knows what God is doing and I need to remember this.


Things are going to work out okay, if I allow it to happen and get out of my own way.
1 Comment

The Other “F” Word

2/11/2014

0 Comments

 
Yes, I am talking about feelings. Feelings inform our decisions, our actions and our follow through.

In the book The Untethered Soul, I was especially interested in the part that talked about keeping your heart open, no matter what. If you have feelings you do not like, you tend to avoid or push them down and close down your heart (stifle your life force, your energy) in the process. Keep your heart open and deal openly with the feelings for the best results. Notice how much more energy you have when your heart stays open. Whatever is happening right now gets our focus and as soon as it is done, our attention moves on, if we are living in the moment.

It continues on about feelings and uses similar concepts to those of meditation. When meditating, we try to keep calm (equanimity), no matter what is happening in the outside world. Whether we like or dislike what is happening in the outside world does not matter. What matters is the discipline of observing it, much as one would observe clouds. We do not try to change the clouds or become too attached to the clouds. We simply observe them.

In Buddhism, the teaching is to allow whatever thoughts are there and simply return your focus to your breath. Whether we judge those particular thoughts to be good and lose our focus or judge them as bad and lose our focus, the fact is we have lost our focus. When we are training our mind, focus is important. Stay in the moment and do not let the outside world distract you and “knock you off your game.”

Feelings come into play when we judge the outside world. We like the way we feel when we judge the outside world favorably. We try to keep that feeling and create (control and manipulate) our circumstances so that we experience that particular feeling again. This is different than living in the moment and accepting what is happening, which helps us keep that sense of tranquility.





May you live in the moment today.


0 Comments

How Spontaneous Are You?

2/7/2014

0 Comments

 
I am re-reading the Diamond Heart Books and wanted to share these ideas with you.

Please consider these questions and be rigorously honest with yourself.

How quickly can I let go of my preconceptions and how life “should” be?
Am I open to the new and different adventures life presents me or do I insist on it happening the way I want it to be?


Do I allow myself to be surprised by my experiences?

Can I be okay taking the adventure in front of me even if I do not know how it is going to end up?

Do I allow it to happen?

Spontaneity means going with the flow, understanding that I am safe and secure, I am not the one in charge and that things are going to be okay. I am in harmony with my surroundings and my actions are effortless. Change is happening around me through natural processes. They are simply unfolding and I do not direct that process.

Do I judge it after it happens or do I simply experience the truth of the situation?

When I simply experience it, I better understand it. To understand the situation means to be completely open right now to the truth of the situation. Understanding is radical and transformative, quite different than just having an intellectual grasp of an idea. When I understand something, I feel it in every inch of my body.

0 Comments

    Don Boice
    Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.  

    _

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    November 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012

    Categories

    All
    Building Relationships Improving Communication
    Communication
    Counseling
    Counselor
    Couples
    Couples Counseling
    Dating
    Emotional Intelligence
    Gender
    Gender Communication
    Goleman
    Jealousy
    Love
    Marital Counseling
    Relationships
    Resolutions
    Romance
    Soft Skills
    Time Magazine
    Training
    Valentine's Day

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.