10 Things Couples Overlook While Preparing for Mediation

10 things couples overlook in preparing for mediation

Primarily- you should prepare yourself before you see your mediator and again before you send your paperwork to be approved. Quick thoughts:

1. Yes, you can have a lawyer look at your paperwork before it gets sent to the judge. You are protected. Likewise, the mediator will even the playing field, so that no one bullies.
2. Yes, consult with a financial person to see what your menu of options might be. At some point in the process, you will need to prove that the numbers you are using are real and not fictional.
3. Mediation is not litigation. You can create something new and better than what the law says you need to do.
4. Emotions- You will second guess yourself and you will feel hurt, pretty much guaranteed. How will you choose to handle it when it happens? The ostrich approach, while popular, does not work. Many people contemplate suicide at this time. Be aware of that and build your support network now.
5. How do we tell the children?
6. When can I date?
7. You may be tempted to walk away from your children because it is so painful.
8. You may be tempted to walk away from the house, retirement etc because it is so painful to face.
9. Each state has its own laws, so looking at what happens in a different state may be entirely irrelevant.
10. When you litigate, you hand over a ton of power to the judge, who does not know your children or what is best for your situation. Mediation allows you to create something that fits you and works best for your family. You retain control.