- Your communication doesn’t change on its own. You have to change it. Break it down into small pieces and change one part at a time.
- When you are going through divorce and separation, you may not see as clearly as you normally do and you may misinterpret their motives, for the worse. Being aware of that might help you not jump to conclusions. Clarify, if you are not 99% sure.
- Assume that they are not trying to hurt you; that they are simply trying to help themselves. Have that be your default position.
- Don’t expect them to care about you in their decisions or put your needs first. This is the age of free agency. They are making sure their needs get met, preferably without stepping on your toes.
- Take care of yourself and get your own needs met, without trampling on their needs.
- Clarify repeatedly until you truly understand where they are coming from. Assume that miscommunication is at fault, rather than assume they are bad.
- Do not attack them. Defensive people are defensive because they feel attacked. If they feel attacked, chances are really good that you did a micro-aggression. Don’t blame them for defending themselves when attacked.
7 Ideas to Improve Post Divorce Co-parenting Communication