If you would like to be miserable, please wish for things to be different than they are. Things are as they are, accept it. Once you have accepted it, watch how your mood shifts.
I didn’t say “unconditionally surrender or give up,” just accept. Play with the difference in your world. Live life on life’s terms. “It shouldn’t be that way,” is a phrase that often accompanies misery. Be fully present in the moment. Women love when their man has a presence, not being distracted or multi-tasking with the phone while watching the game. Not sure about this? Ask your partner.
“The masculine error is to live life as if it is going somewhere fundamentally different from this moment. It is not.
“Life in this moment is as deeply fulfilling, blissful and free as you are willing to be, right now and the same is true of every moment. Your capacity to relax as the openness of the moment does change over time - the things you do in your life never amount to a fundamental change in how fulfilled or free you are in any particular moment. You will not be satisfied as long as you are waiting to be satisfied!
“Don’t postpone your full presence and the deepest giving of your gift for A future moment -that is intolerable to the feminine! Death forces you to be present in this moment.” Deida
Have you tried doing the exercises on a regular basis (The Art of Sexual Ecstasy by Margo Anand) yet? Are you practicing this particular one 10-20 times before it becomes comfortable during sex? It is time to get the book, and read it, if you have not already done so. Here are exercises to practice: The Streaming Process and Shaking Loose