“You hear me say that there is something wrong and then, the next step -solve it? But if you “solve” it now, before you clarify, that meets your needs (make it go away) not mine. I am me, not you. Please, listen all the way through, then my preference would be to solve it together with my input.”
“Huh?”
“Well, otherwise, you not only don’t solve the actual problem, you’re signaling not listening, signaling not valuing working with me and you’re imposing your solution on me- from my perspective. That signals that you want the problem to go away, not that you want me to be comforted. Is that your intent?”
“No”
“Oftentimes your solution is distance and separation from you. Your first option is to say we should spend time apart. Is that what you need from me when you’re having a rough time? What inspires you to consistently offer that option first?”
crickets
Do you get the sense that this conversation is going to end well?
“Huh?”
“Well, otherwise, you not only don’t solve the actual problem, you’re signaling not listening, signaling not valuing working with me and you’re imposing your solution on me- from my perspective. That signals that you want the problem to go away, not that you want me to be comforted. Is that your intent?”
“No”
“Oftentimes your solution is distance and separation from you. Your first option is to say we should spend time apart. Is that what you need from me when you’re having a rough time? What inspires you to consistently offer that option first?”
crickets
Do you get the sense that this conversation is going to end well?
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