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Are You Fully Present During Sex?

5/23/2020

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​Are You Fully There During Sex?
 
Do you close your eyes and tense your body? Have you practiced enough tantra that you are able to withstand the incredible intimate experience of orgasm, eyes open looking at your partner and just fully relaxed?

Let him feel through you. Allow yourself the gift of being open and allow him to receive this gift.
 
“She had an old habit of going inward during sex, especially when she wanted to have an orgasm. She would close her eyes and withdraw, going inside herself to experience her own sensations. It was as if I wasn’t there anymore. Although I was the source of her stimulation, as she turned inward she became completely unaware of me or anything else outside of her own body. As she trained herself she would open her eyes, feel through her own pleasure, and reconnect with me, heart to heart. Even while she was approaching orgasm, she remained open and felt through the waves and thrills rather than closing down and going inward. She allowed her orgasm to move outward, like a gift to the universe, through her body, through my body, and far beyond. She gave herself in pleasure rather than keeping the pleasure in herself. Her openness deepened our mutual surrender, where in we both gave ourselves so fully in love there was no inward left to go.
 
“Feel through your lover into the love that moves the universe -the love that is alive at the heart of all beings.
 
“If you were going to go inward during sex you might as well do it by yourself; there are for less complications in solitude.
 
“Sex is a natural way that depth can recognize itself in another. This depth is openness or love.” David Deida
 
EXERCISE: Practicing love means staying in direct relationship Eye 2 Eye, body to body, breath to breath, as much as possible during sex, including when you’re bursting with pleasure, shyness, fear, or shame.
 
Have you tried doing the exercises on a regular basis (The Art of Sexual Ecstasy by Margo Anand) yet? Are you practicing this particular one 10-20 times before it becomes comfortable during sex? It is time to get the book, and read it, if you have not already done so. Here is an exercise to practice for your tantra to flow well: The Basic Stance
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    Don Boice
    Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.  

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