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Balancing Genders in Sacred Sexuality

4/27/2020

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​Tantra and sacred sexuality
 
Tantra leads to personal development and filling yourself, taking responsibility, for your life. There’s something missing in your life. You feel a hole or a void. Something is just plain off.

Everyone has inner conflict and a sense of something missing. What is missing? (Be absolutely honest with yourself)

What is the nature of your inner conflict? (spend some time this week contemplating this one question and come up with a good answer if you are interested in growth)

Can we bridge the opposites? Can we reunite the male and female principles, the yin and yang?

Some people are just looking for sex techniques here and don’t quite get the philosophy of using everything that arises as an opportunity for uniting with the sacred. It is not about good sex, it is about taking the goodness of sex and transcending the body, after having experienced the body. If all you have is great sex, you missed about 80% of the lesson!

Healthy sexuality is the urge for unity and self-discovery. Get to know yourself well enough to experience what is and is not missing.

Maybe that was part of the design, to keep you seeking… Maybe there is nothing missing at all and you struggle to accept that. Maybe what is missing is hidden but not missing.

Maybe there are parts of you that you do not accept and you have disowned or exiled. You feel separation and a lack of internal unity. You don’t fully experience yourself or your place in the universe.

You don’t get who you really are until you engage in self-discovery. Know your source and be aware of complementarity in your life. Again, watch what happens to your sense of wholeness. Ask yourself yet again, what is missing?

Merge the masculine and feminine energies within if you want unity. Stay in the unity for awhile

Welcoming all the parts of you back (they were never really gone) makes you feel more content and whole. You pretending that you do not have a shadow (hidden) side, that you don’t have flaws is delusional. They’re there, own them and move on. For example, I know people who say that they are not selfish. As if, all humans are selfish, they were skipped for that character trait. We are inherently selfish. We are self centered, self referencing and self absorbed in many of our daily actions. Fight it or accept it and watch which path give you more growth.

Exercise- What parts of your personality do you pretend you don’t have? For example, I am a nice guy, so I pretend I am not also rude, obnoxious, mean etc Very few people see that side and I used to tell people that I am not mean, rather than own that every human being has that aspect. I am no exception. If I own that I can be mean and do mean things at times, then I am less likely to be mean.

​Sometimes, I need to know that I can handle myself and use that gear. There are times I must stand up to someone very powerfully. Not be a jerk or awful, but bordering on mean. Imagine the stray dog that attacked me. I was not nice and I did not have to be abusive or hurtful, but I definitely was not going to let it bite me or go after my kids.
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    Don Boice
    Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.  

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