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Being a Great Listener Means Setting Aside Your Ego

4/9/2013

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When I stop listening and begin preparing my response, I stop listening well. I make it about me instead of making it about you. I want to make sure you understand me, more than I want to make sure I understand you.

That is not great listening.

When I am reactive to what I think I heard you say, that is not great listening. Common, but not great.

When I set aside my ego, my perspective and opinion and truly, sincerely listen to you, then I can begin to say I am a great listener. When I can listen, be engaged, keep you talking until I really get what it is you are saying, then I am on the right track. It is best if I also clarify what you said, just to be sure I got it.

When we fully listen, we eliminate many miscommunications. Let's face it, many of the problems within communication have to do with listening rather than talking.

Can I hear what is not being said and clarify that as well?

I do this presentation for Businesses because many of the rules of relationships are the same whether we have them with co-workers or family or friends and it all starts with words. Business is just a different set of relationships.

When I listen to a customer, I am giving of myself. I am showing them that I have their back, that I am trustworthy in that I can put my needs behind their needs.

Extreme listening is by definition an act of love.
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    Don Boice
    Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.  

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