First, let me say that there is hope. An overwhelming percentage of people go on to build a successful marriage #2, after an affair. There is a plan of action that works better than other plans. Yes, we tailor it to your particular situation, once we’ve assessed your needs.
Please be careful which books you read about affairs. Don’t get me wrong, they are interesting, they just don’t quite have all their facts straight. My preference is that you get the best information possible and that it is based on research by experts in the field (this training was by John Gottman PhD and Julie Gottman PhD- if you are a couples counselor, I highly recommend it) rather than someone’s own agenda or opinion.
Yes, I do phone counseling for couples if you cannot make it in for a session, or if you live far away. For an appointment, call 585.544.5342
Suggested Steps in Therapy
- Define infidelity
- List the steps that form the cascade towards betrayal- how to figure out when someone is on the path towards an affair (counselor handout pp 118-119)
- List the PTSD symptoms the partner might experience after learning of the affair: hypervigilance, intrusive images of the affair, nightmares, emotional numbing, emotional explosions, disturb sleep etc. Note: both partners need therapeutic support
- There are three phases to the therapy:
- Relapse Prevention
More details tomorrow