"Got any plans for the Holidays?" I asked
"Christmas is a Self-Inflicted Wound," she said.
We talked at length about how the expectations of her Christmas never matched the reality. We talked about how intense it was to be with family and how they had not healed from past wounds. And yet, every year, every one of them expected things to be better and that they would somehow get along.
How realistic are your expectations for being with your family? Do you know what your expectations are?
Martin Seligman, PhD, talks about how unrealistic optimists can be and how that can be a set up for huge disappointment. Likewise, preparing for the worst is not a good strategy, either. Prepare for what is likely to happen, acknowledging our own imperfections and those of others. Do not bury your head in the sand and do not prepare for something that is not likely to happen.
What is likely to happen for you this Holiday season?
Is there a way you can signal your loved ones that it is time to go?
Can you agree ahead of time to love one another in small doses?
Can you acknowledge that those of you who are introverts truly need alone time and no one needs to take that personally?
Can you choose your battles wisely and avoid the others?
No matter which Holiday (or none, I suppose) you acknowledge or celebrate, may it be a time of growth and joy for you
"Christmas is a Self-Inflicted Wound," she said.
We talked at length about how the expectations of her Christmas never matched the reality. We talked about how intense it was to be with family and how they had not healed from past wounds. And yet, every year, every one of them expected things to be better and that they would somehow get along.
How realistic are your expectations for being with your family? Do you know what your expectations are?
Martin Seligman, PhD, talks about how unrealistic optimists can be and how that can be a set up for huge disappointment. Likewise, preparing for the worst is not a good strategy, either. Prepare for what is likely to happen, acknowledging our own imperfections and those of others. Do not bury your head in the sand and do not prepare for something that is not likely to happen.
What is likely to happen for you this Holiday season?
Is there a way you can signal your loved ones that it is time to go?
Can you agree ahead of time to love one another in small doses?
Can you acknowledge that those of you who are introverts truly need alone time and no one needs to take that personally?
Can you choose your battles wisely and avoid the others?
No matter which Holiday (or none, I suppose) you acknowledge or celebrate, may it be a time of growth and joy for you
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