Come as You Are
By Emily Nagoski
“She noted that it felt good to be open to sex, without feeling driven to have sex. Allow sexual desire to pull her gradually and gently toward sex, rather than feeling like it was pushing her.”
The author talked about how we have brakes and accelerators, all calibrated differently.
The author then gives a metaphor about plants.
Imagine if everybody had the same type of plants, say a plant from the desert. Everyone knows how to water a plant from the desert. Lots of sun very little water.
Now imagine somebody gets a tomato plant in the garden and it doesn’t do well in that particular garden because there’s a lot of sun and very little water.
Tomato plants are not crazy or broken -because they need more water and less sun.
The same is true for sexuality. It is not wrong for wanting something different. Let’s be okay with people asking for what they need, even if it is different than what others seem to prefer.
Talk it through and negotiate.
By Emily Nagoski
“She noted that it felt good to be open to sex, without feeling driven to have sex. Allow sexual desire to pull her gradually and gently toward sex, rather than feeling like it was pushing her.”
The author talked about how we have brakes and accelerators, all calibrated differently.
The author then gives a metaphor about plants.
Imagine if everybody had the same type of plants, say a plant from the desert. Everyone knows how to water a plant from the desert. Lots of sun very little water.
Now imagine somebody gets a tomato plant in the garden and it doesn’t do well in that particular garden because there’s a lot of sun and very little water.
Tomato plants are not crazy or broken -because they need more water and less sun.
The same is true for sexuality. It is not wrong for wanting something different. Let’s be okay with people asking for what they need, even if it is different than what others seem to prefer.
Talk it through and negotiate.
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