Come as you Are Workbook by Nagoski
The author suggests:
Ask your partner directly
“What hits your brakes?”
“Is now a good time to talk about what makes sex good or great between us?”
“Can we set up a time when we can talk together, no pressure or expectations, just talk, about what makes sex good or great between us?”
Many people find it easiest to begin with positive. “When we have had great sex, what was going on in our lives, and our relationship, and that sexual encounter?”
*Let your partner tell you what hits their brakes before you talk about what yours are.
It can feel like a list of complaints, which would shut down the other person.
Instead ask,
“What are some things that get in the way of great sex?”
Express gratitude that you have the kind of relationship where you can talk about these things without judgment, shame or fear.
Your sex life is something that you share, like a kid or mortgage or a chores. It’s not easy to talk about it, so make sure you let your partner know how glad you are that they’re willing to spend time paying attention to what it takes to make your sexual connection.
The author suggests:
Ask your partner directly
“What hits your brakes?”
“Is now a good time to talk about what makes sex good or great between us?”
“Can we set up a time when we can talk together, no pressure or expectations, just talk, about what makes sex good or great between us?”
Many people find it easiest to begin with positive. “When we have had great sex, what was going on in our lives, and our relationship, and that sexual encounter?”
*Let your partner tell you what hits their brakes before you talk about what yours are.
It can feel like a list of complaints, which would shut down the other person.
Instead ask,
“What are some things that get in the way of great sex?”
Express gratitude that you have the kind of relationship where you can talk about these things without judgment, shame or fear.
Your sex life is something that you share, like a kid or mortgage or a chores. It’s not easy to talk about it, so make sure you let your partner know how glad you are that they’re willing to spend time paying attention to what it takes to make your sexual connection.
RSS Feed
