Do you feel attacked or defensive when they say they don’t like something you said or did? You can be defensive, or you can take responsibility for behavior that needs work. It is your choice.
Now, let’s get into how we talk to one another.
“I felt hurt when you said______” is perfectly okay for them to say. You might like it and that means you must sit with those feelings. That is okay to do.
If they are speaking, then you tell them that you will address the issue and you would like them to speak to you differently. Wait your turn and take turns with one of you talking and the other listening.
I have a whole bit on talker/listener that I think you will appreciate. Use it for high emotions and conflict. It reduces the conflict that is unnecessary. There is conflict that is needed and please don’t avoid those opportunities. Conflict just means you have needs at odds with one another and need to either negotiate a win-win or agree to disagree if you cannot resolve it.
Please listen to and practice talker/listener.
Talker listener is much easier when your feelings are easily managed because you lean into discomfort and can tolerate the awkwardness of them.