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Compassion in Relationships

9/20/2012

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I see myself as wise, or at least knowledgeable. I have read so much about relationships, taken classes, trainings, tried to integrate information and have learned from personal and professional experience.Okay, I see myself as really knowledgeable. My mission in life is to alleviate suffering and my career affords me the opportunity to do so.

Someone suggested I convert my knowledge to wisdom to help even more people. I was intrigued. "What is the difference?" I asked

The answer was simple and transformative. "You can tell by the level of compassion how wise someone is," they said. I don't necessarily have to keep improving my fund of knowledge, reading at a break neck pace and incorporating new concepts. I could practice instead on just being compassionate. Being compassionate is more healing that knowledge. Hmmm

Would you believe that same week a woman who I see as wise challenged me to try on the Hawaiian concept- "I apologize for seeing you as not whole." I am responsible for how I see the world, we all know that in terms of pessimism and optimism. It logically follows that if I see someone as less than whole, I am responsible for the way I see that. Now extend that to yourself. I apologize to myself for seeing myself as not whole. Are we having fun yet?

It was a deep week.

Watch your level of compassion in different circumstances. Are you loving and kind? By the way, compassion is not some wimpy, doormat philosophy. If I have compassion for my children, at times I must challenge them, discipline them and teach lessons. More often, though, the person who is wise and compassionate is gentle with themselves and others, not prone to contempt and judging. That sounds good to me!

I challenge us all to be more compassionate to ourselves and watch the impact it has on the world around us.

All the best,
Don
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    Don Boice
    Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.  

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