“Do something” is often said in response to a great hurt. This thinking is often just plain wrong. It is saying that something is better than nothing, which is clearly false.
I might not be able to make this better - but acting without considering the consequences can make it worse.
When you are in a situation with conflict and high emotion, slowing things down can be helpful.
Take turns listening. Don’t do the talker/talker normal conversation. Slow down and ensure you understand the other person before you take a turn. Clarify and see if you are accurate.
Often the first response brings out the worst in us and we justify our actions. Think back to the toddler or baby whose toy was taken and they lash out. Given time, we can think it through instead of just react. Everyone benefits.
It is hard to tolerate doing nothing.
It feels vulnerable.
Some people feel weak and impotent, not realizing what taking bad action will do to the situation long-term. Slow down, think it through, think through what your options are and which options might actually serve you.
Hear out the person who is hurting. Let them talk it out and try to understand them fully.
Let them experience the feelings and process the feelings before they act.
RSS Feed
