These questions can lead to deep conversations and they rock the boat rather than ignore the elephant in the living room.
Is one of you more apt to go to counseling to get support or grow and develop?
What do you do when one person is growing much faster than the other person?
Does one of you tend to go into your cave to get more coping time?
Does one of you do more hours of chores in the typical week? (by the way, in my office, that is the issue where most of the fighting occurs)
How do you deal with that?
Have you talked about partnership and equality?