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Does My Agreement Work For Me?

10/3/2022

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​For those of you negotiating, consider looking on my website for Bayes Rule and for Nash Equilibrium. There are more ways to apply this than during mediation, however, that is what I wrote this article for. The 5 E’s are part of that process. If you are negotiating your divorce, use those two techniques and then evaluate your process using the 5 Es:
 
Process Standard 5 E’s
 
How well do the final agreements accomplish the clients goals?
 
Educated
The parties have a much better chance at achieving an optimal agreement if both have all the information relevant to their agreements.
By being educated regarding the objective and subjective goals of both parties, each of the parties can contemplate an offer, solutions or proposals, that are optimal for each of them.
 
Equitable
People have a fundamental belief that a strategic relationship should be equitable.
 
In social science research, this is called “the principle of reciprocity.”
 
When a situation is not equitable, people feel coerced and are fundamentally unhappy with the outcome.
People do not mind making compromises, for example, if they feel the other person has also made compromises of a similar cost.
 
Equitable does not mean “ equal” it means “fair.” When we look at the issue of fairness, include the subjective meaning of the outcome as well as the object of meaning.
 
Each individual agreement might not be equitable, but the total package of agreements, Incorporated into the settlement agreement, should be equitable.
 
Effective
Attorneys are usually very proficient regarding the standard, especially with regard to financial issues. An effective agreement might also include procedures for the parties to modify certain financial agreements, if that is appropriate in the case.
 
Equilibrant
The final deal is as good as it can be for both parties. If an agreement can be improved, as long as the other party does not lose, and it is not yet equilibrant.
 
Only when the agreement can no longer be improved for at least one party, without hurting the position of the other party, does an agreement meet the standard.
 
Envy- free divorce
The parties usually understand that they will leave the marriage with losses. If, however, at the end of the settlement process, neither of them would trade their package for the package of the other party therefore envy free, then the standard has been met.
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    Don Boice
    Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.  

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