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Embrace Your Inconsistency

5/12/2022

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​We are Not Consistent
 
We like to see ourselves as consistent, though. We seem to value that, even if we do not do it in reality.
 
I am most likely to do what I did in the past… If that is what this person is thinking, how do we reduce barriers to change?
 
Counseling- no one does homework but they expect counseling to work and undo all the habits in one hour a week. We laugh when we see that in writing. 50 years of ingrained habit, undone in one counseling session? It could happen, I suppose… 
We want to change, but don’t do the things necessary to change. That is the inner conflict. That is it right there.
 
Can you imagine someone being honest enough to say, “Part of me wants to change and I don’t know why, but I keep sabotaging it by not putting in the necessary work to change.”
 
How successful do you want to be? How much and what type of work do you anticipate it will take to get there? Do it. Keep track of where you started and do a feedback loop yourself. What worked well this week and what did not work well? What do I need to change in order to reach my goal?
 
How will you keep yourself on track?
 
They want to believe “I am in alignment”- even if not. Alignment means that my words and actions bare some resemblance.
 
Do you consider yourself to be consistent and in alignment 100% of the time?
 
If you are not always in alignment, how about your relationship?
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    Don Boice
    Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.  

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