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Empathy Deficit Disorder

6/3/2015

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I feel very honored to have two friends who have recently called attention to people who had what I jokingly referred to as empathy deficit disorder. (EDD) These are people who posted on a news story and were terribly rude, inconsiderate and downright mean. There was no need for that and my friends were people who called them out for it, with tact.
 
Empathy is a big one and now let's throw compassion into the mix because compassion is how we know whether or not somebody is wise. When somebody acts with compassion we know that they have a deeper wisdom. 

 Empathy does not mean just taking a walk in somebody else's shoes. That just means you have uncomfortable feet at the end of your journey.


Empathy means putting yourself into the other person's perspective to such an extent that you lose your own perspective and experience the world the way they experience it. You understand what they're thinking ...the motivation behind their thoughts. It means going so deeply into their experience that you understand them. 


At the end of that experience you may still have a different opinion point of view or perspective. That's okay.

What comes with empathy is compassion. You get where they're coming from, therefore you don't judge them.  
 

When you judge, you are playing God. 


Who am I to judge?


People often misunderstand compassion


Compassion is not for the faint of heart. Compassion is not for wimps or for the weak.
 

Compassion does not mean tolerate bad behavior. 


It means that you're forceful, you say "stop" and you say "don't do that."
 

If I remember the story correctly, the brother of the Unabomber is the one who turned him in.

In turning in his brother, he was showing compassion to his brother as well as the victims of his brother. He then donated the reward money to the families of his brother's victims. 
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    Don Boice
    Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.  

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