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Everyone Can Grow and Improve, Here's How to Start

8/7/2016

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​Someone turned me on to this great book and I devoured it, quickly realizing the implications for, well, for anyone who interacts with people. Coaches, teachers, people in romantic relationships, co-workers, managers, politicians, parents etc.
 
I strongly suggest you read it and apply it!
 
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck PhD
 
“The growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts. Everyone can change and grow through application and experience.
 
When we put people in a fixed mindset, with its focus on permanent traits, they quickly fear challenge and devalue effort.
 
People greatly misestimate their performance and their ability. 
 
It was those with the fixed mindset who accounted for almost all the inaccuracy. The people with the growth mindset were amazingly accurate.
 
If you believe you can develop yourself, then you're open to accurate information about your current abilities, even if it is unflattering. What's more, if you're oriented toward learning, you need accurate information about your current abilities in order to learn effectively. 
 
However, if everything is either good news or bad news about your precious traits -distortion almost inevitably enters the picture.
 
In the fixed mindset, effort is a bad thing. It, like failure, means that you are not smart or talented. If you were, you would not need effort. 
 
In the other world of the growth mindset, effort is what makes you smart or talented. And you have a choice.
 
Children with the fixed mindset want to make sure they succeed. Smart people should always succeed.

For children with the growth mindset, success is about stretching themselves. It's about becoming smarter.
 
Believing that success is about learning, students with the growth mindset seize the chance to learn. 
 
Those with the fixed mindset did not want to expose deficiencies. Instead, to feel smart in the short run, they were willing to put everything at risk. This is how the fixed mindset makes people into non-learners.
 
In relationships, people with the growth mindset hope for a different kind of partner. Their ideal mate was someone who would see their faults and help them to work on them. Challenge them to become a better person. Encourage them to learn new things. Didn't want people who would pick on them or undermine esteem , they did want  people who would foster their development. They did not assume they were fully -evolved, flawless beings with  nothing more to learn.
 
We have the ability to put others in either mindset. You have the ability to put yourself into either mindset, at least for the moment.”
 
There are so many implications for this. I’ll give you time to read and digest and tune in to this blog to learn more from the author.
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    Don Boice
    Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.  

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