Cosmopolitan put out a card deck called 365 Naughty Nights
There are creative ways to bond with your partner and most are very respectful. Let’s face it, many couples get bored sexually and need some outside help to break out of a rut.
New positions, new ideas and thoughts might stimulate their thinking to be more creative and have better conversations about what they like and prefer and prompt them to be more self aware and to take more responsibility for what they want from life in general, not just sexually.
It can really awaken people.
I have also had quite a few couples talk about not knowing what to do during sex, except missionary position. While I suggest talking about it, some people have blocked their sexual creativity and will not allow themselves to think about different ways.
They feel naughty or perverted and a few have asked if they were addicted. Nope, these were people that thought about sex like most people do, they just never had anyone normalize it for them.
These cards have very specific instructions for a much more stimulating sexual encounter. Pick one or two cards from the deck and talk about them.
Or go through the deck and pick out each one that you would not be willing to do, a pile of maybe and a pile of definitely yes. Share each pile with your partner and be prepared to get aroused just talking about it.
Tell your partner what you are going to do with her when the time comes. “Saturday night, we’re going to do that card you picked out. Let’s make sure you are well rested and have a back up babysitter. I am going to spoil you.”
Many couples then talk about it afterwards. “I really enjoyed this and this and would like to that again. Thank you for spoiling me. I think I would be okay with the other thing we did if we changed this one little aspect.” Or “I really thought I would like the card I picked but I found myself super self conscious about it. I would be willing to try that again to push my comfort zone, but maybe with a candle instead of during the day time light.”
Caution: Usually the person who has a higher sex drive ends up being the person planning it more. Just because you are not in the mood right now, does not mean that you will not be in the mood later on. Communicate this to the person and encourage them to get you in the mood with a certain card. If the responsibility is consistently on one person, that is not fair and usually does bring some hurt, some resentment and wanting to feel desired by the partner.
You are both in a romantic/sexual relationship and you are both responsible for your sex life. Do not expect one person to do all the heavy lifting.
There is another book called 101 Nights of Great Sex (Grrreat Sex) by Laura Corn which again has multiple suggestions for mixing it up. Ask your partner if they want a surprise and know what the no pile includes and set the mood all week, then spice it up that day. It really makes your partner feel good knowing that you want to please them, that you want them to feel good, that you want them, desire them, are attracted to them, that you love them and then you follow through.
There are creative ways to bond with your partner and most are very respectful. Let’s face it, many couples get bored sexually and need some outside help to break out of a rut.
New positions, new ideas and thoughts might stimulate their thinking to be more creative and have better conversations about what they like and prefer and prompt them to be more self aware and to take more responsibility for what they want from life in general, not just sexually.
It can really awaken people.
I have also had quite a few couples talk about not knowing what to do during sex, except missionary position. While I suggest talking about it, some people have blocked their sexual creativity and will not allow themselves to think about different ways.
They feel naughty or perverted and a few have asked if they were addicted. Nope, these were people that thought about sex like most people do, they just never had anyone normalize it for them.
These cards have very specific instructions for a much more stimulating sexual encounter. Pick one or two cards from the deck and talk about them.
Or go through the deck and pick out each one that you would not be willing to do, a pile of maybe and a pile of definitely yes. Share each pile with your partner and be prepared to get aroused just talking about it.
Tell your partner what you are going to do with her when the time comes. “Saturday night, we’re going to do that card you picked out. Let’s make sure you are well rested and have a back up babysitter. I am going to spoil you.”
Many couples then talk about it afterwards. “I really enjoyed this and this and would like to that again. Thank you for spoiling me. I think I would be okay with the other thing we did if we changed this one little aspect.” Or “I really thought I would like the card I picked but I found myself super self conscious about it. I would be willing to try that again to push my comfort zone, but maybe with a candle instead of during the day time light.”
Caution: Usually the person who has a higher sex drive ends up being the person planning it more. Just because you are not in the mood right now, does not mean that you will not be in the mood later on. Communicate this to the person and encourage them to get you in the mood with a certain card. If the responsibility is consistently on one person, that is not fair and usually does bring some hurt, some resentment and wanting to feel desired by the partner.
You are both in a romantic/sexual relationship and you are both responsible for your sex life. Do not expect one person to do all the heavy lifting.
There is another book called 101 Nights of Great Sex (Grrreat Sex) by Laura Corn which again has multiple suggestions for mixing it up. Ask your partner if they want a surprise and know what the no pile includes and set the mood all week, then spice it up that day. It really makes your partner feel good knowing that you want to please them, that you want them to feel good, that you want them, desire them, are attracted to them, that you love them and then you follow through.
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