Things were not going well, as you read from the previous post.
Let's fast forward to Valentine's Day. No cards or gifts, absolutely challenging communication about the previous day and the decision was made to watch some humor on YouTube and on Netflix.
We both consciiously and unconsciously agreed to not confront the issue, to let it lie.
More awkward conversation before bedtime. Once horizontal, the communication was nonverbal and not ambiguous.
Caressing feels good and you can tell when someone is faking touch.
After this type of intimacy, the subject was broached, surprisingly. "I think you would be better off with someone who fits you. I clearly am not fitting the bill and I want to give you an out." Imagine the surprise after such closeness. Yet, there was relief. The guesswork had ended. She told him what she liked about him, despite the breaking up. He told her the same. They laughed and talked until 4 am about the memories, the loss of future, the sadness, grieving what was good and acknowledging that it was not all bad. They clarified what was the breaking point and what led up to the breaking point. Was it fixable? What had to line up for a relationship to actually work and despite tears, the acknowledgement that this was not going to be repaired.
There were still lingering feelings of sadness at the end of this part of the process. There was healing and talking and acknowledgement of what it had meant to each- not trying to get back together, just honoring what it was.
May you have that in your relationships that end. It feels affirmative and life giving. Not all relationships were meant to last forever.
Let's fast forward to Valentine's Day. No cards or gifts, absolutely challenging communication about the previous day and the decision was made to watch some humor on YouTube and on Netflix.
We both consciiously and unconsciously agreed to not confront the issue, to let it lie.
More awkward conversation before bedtime. Once horizontal, the communication was nonverbal and not ambiguous.
Caressing feels good and you can tell when someone is faking touch.
After this type of intimacy, the subject was broached, surprisingly. "I think you would be better off with someone who fits you. I clearly am not fitting the bill and I want to give you an out." Imagine the surprise after such closeness. Yet, there was relief. The guesswork had ended. She told him what she liked about him, despite the breaking up. He told her the same. They laughed and talked until 4 am about the memories, the loss of future, the sadness, grieving what was good and acknowledging that it was not all bad. They clarified what was the breaking point and what led up to the breaking point. Was it fixable? What had to line up for a relationship to actually work and despite tears, the acknowledgement that this was not going to be repaired.
There were still lingering feelings of sadness at the end of this part of the process. There was healing and talking and acknowledgement of what it had meant to each- not trying to get back together, just honoring what it was.
May you have that in your relationships that end. It feels affirmative and life giving. Not all relationships were meant to last forever.
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