1 The disagreement is identified -what exactly are we disagreeing about? If you cannot agree on what the argument is about, you cannot have an effective argument. On what basis are we arguing? Often times, people are arguing three or more points simultaneously. Makes it hard to stay on topic and resolve any of them.
2 Agree on how the disagreement is to be resolved
What is our process? What rules of engagement are there? Do we have rules for arguing? We have rules for wrestling, boxing, even war, why not establish some for disagreements?
3 The positions of each party are explored in as much detail as necessary. If I am not even certain what your point is, how can we proceed? The way you are looking at it might make more sense to me than the way I am looking at it. We do not have to look at it exactly the same way.
4 The disagreement is resolved. (Mutually acceptable position reached. Or no agreement is attainable and we agree to disagree.) Almost 70% of disagreements, according to one statistic I read, will not/cannot be resolved. When we hear the other person out, acknowledge that their argument has merit (don’t even have to agree with it), many arguments simply run out of steam. We have no beef with our partner, they simply have a different point of view- not a big deal most of the time.
This is again information from the course-Effective Argumentation.