"If we wish for a compassionate response from others, it is self-defeating to express our needs by interpreting or diagnosing their behavior. Instead, the more directly we can connect our feelings to our own needs, the easier it is for others to respond to us compassionately. We are accustomed to thinking about what's wrong with others than that our needs are not being fulfilled... it has been my experience over and over again that from the moment people begin talking about what they need rather than what's wrong with another, the possibility of finding ways to meet everybody's needs is greatly increased." (Pp. 53-54 Nonviolent Communication by Marshal Rosenberg. )
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