How do they put up with us?

The book, Women's Ways of Knowing, by Belenky, Clinchy, Goldberger & Tarule describes a feminine learning style that fits well with women's conversational style. Example: When women hear a new or different idea, they set their doubts and disbelief aside and tune in carefully to what the person is saying; they try to see it from the other person's view point. Women try to understand the other person's opinion as completely and deeply as possible; they cognitively "go with them," wanting to hear the person's views and understand why they think this way. Women seek to make sense of the new idea, to grasp how it can be seen as accurate and useful. This is certainly a "way of knowing" and could be called the "believing approach ." It involves empathizing with the speaker to cooperatively assimilate the truth together, i.e. cooperating. Women effectively use this same listening style when someone has a personal problem.

I am a man and a counselor and I cringe when I see the clash between how men do this and how women do this.

Sometimes I ask myself, "How do they put up with us?"

All the best,
Don