I’m working on a booklet called “Emotional Connection for Men,” because so many men have that confused look on their face when their woman partner tells them they just want emotional connection.
The best book I have read on the topic of emotionally connecting, is ‘The Relationship Cure.' It is a manual for emotional connection. “Hold Me Tight” by Susan Johnson is another classic on connecting.
Many men are not sure why their wives want to connect to them. They don’t get the rationale. We may not feel like it or may feel vulnerable (heaven forbid) in doing it, therefore avoid it. “You already know me,” he says. Or “Go ahead and ask me any question you want” (as if it is a mind/rational task rather than a process and devoid of emotion).
So, this is about connecting with your wife, right? Wrong. That is just the start.
How do you connect?
First, you connect with yourself. How do you feel in your body, with your emotions, right now as you read this. Feel the physical sensations, tune in to the feelings and where in your body they are. What colors do you see? Any images or sounds with the feelings? Breathe into it. This is a great way to connect with what is going on inside of you. This is connection to yourself. Do it with yourself and it is easier to do with others.
Second you connect with those around you. Family, friends, coworkers. If you have children, you connect with them, too. Tune in to their world. Attune to their thoughts, feelings, physical sensations. Get into their world and see it from their viewpoint and watch how quickly you connect. Be compassionate with what you see when you are this empathetic or you kill the connection, the passion.
Also, how have you killed passion along the way? Think about that one and we’ll go over it next blog. Happy Thanksgiving!!