I have heard people say they are not deep or do not want intimacy or do not talk about these with their partner, but they do talk about these with their friends. This strikes me as indirect.
Tell your partner what you want and how what they do affects you. Let them get to know you. It might make you feel vulnerable.
Ask them to hold off on any judgment or rejection. If your partner is going to reject you because you have a preference, perhaps there is another problem in the relationship.
As people age, they seem to care less what others think of them. They care, just not as much as previously. Ask for what you want and you increase the likelihood of getting what you want.
Imagine hitting levels of energy and excitement and pleasure that leave you tingling and open your heart. Imagine your body feeling amazing and knowing your partner wants you to feel that way over and over.
Now imagine that it does not end with ejaculation or sleeping/exhaustion for the man. He decides not to ejaculate, but just to enjoy the ride. You cuddle up and bond emotionally, not just physically.
That’s not to say that ejaculation is a bad thing or undesirable. If it is the only goal every single time, perhaps you missed the point of high sex or sacred sex. It is not about just personal gratification, it is about bonding and transcending and personal development.
Don’t miss out of the good stuff because you got selfish.
Exercise: The next two times you have sex, try not ejaculating. Talk about it with your partner ahead of time and just experiment with it. The goal isn’t to exhaust yourself, it is to feel pleasure and enjoyment and go along for a ride. It is about the journey, not the destination.
Second EXERCISE: Mix it up. Practice not being the nice guy and not following all the rules today.
Note: Neutered men do not make good partners. Don’t break laws or get yourself fired or deserving of a breakup.
List 3 rules you need to challenge today:
How did it go?
What do you need to do differently?