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Intrusive Thoughts

4/8/2022

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​Have you ever had thoughts cross your mind and then you pursue them like a dog with a bone? In my field we call these intrusive thoughts or distractions. They can be serious or they can be inconsequential, inconvenient thoughts. The thoughts themselves might not matter at all, but we get bumped off our game.
 
Do you have to pay attention to every thought that goes through your mind? Can you let it go and get back to the task at hand? Do you have to push back or challenge them?
 
Do the risk assessment and let them go if that is appropriate. Focus on what is in your control and finish the task at hand.
 
Would you let a gnat derail your project? No, you’d likely wave it away and then get on with it. IT is not a big deal.
 
You would not give that gnat the power over you. Or would you?
 
Don’t engage. Stay on target.
  • Another series of unwanted thoughts relate to wanting to be reassured by someone else that everything is okay. IT is my job to reassure myself, when appropriate. What if everything is not going to be okay? What if I do not know and cannot know the answer to “Is it going to be okay?”
Struggle with the uncertainty and stay with that feeling. That is much of life. Very little of my life is certain. I do not demand certainty in general because that would be me making myself miserable.
If you are interest in root cause, consider getting friendly with uncertainty instead of the false comfort of reassurance. Learn to live with uncertainty. “Can I safely let this thought alone?”
You are going to have thoughts about uncertain and of course, you want to know. Who doesn’t? When you require certainty or reassurance in order to allow yourself to be happy…
If there is a feeling of desperation or urgency- slow things down and don’t engage the feeling, practice allowing it to be present and let time pass. It will go away and you will learn from that process.
 
Reassure yourself, if that is helpful. Ask for reassurance, if you need it and if it is helpful. Let’s not get hung up on reassurance when reassurance is false.
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    Don Boice
    Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.  

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