Attached by Amir Levine, MD
(Page 245)
Five secure principles for resolving conflict
“Your well-being is as important to you as mine is to me. Your well-being is super important to me. Your needs matter to me.” …are the sentiments you want them to hear, if true.
Try assuming the best instead of assuming the worst about your partner during conflict. *
A single fight is not a relationship breaker.
Express your fears -if you’re afraid that they want to reject you, say so.
Do not assume that you are to blame for your partner’s bad mood.
Trust that your partner will be caring and responsive and express your needs.
Do not expect your partner to know what you’re thinking before you tell them.
Don’t assume that you understand what your partner means, ask.
(Page 245)
Five secure principles for resolving conflict
- Show basic concern for the other person’s well-being
- Maintain focus on the problem at hand.
- Refrain from generalizing the conflict.
- Be willing to engage.
- Effectively communicate feelings and needs
“Your well-being is as important to you as mine is to me. Your well-being is super important to me. Your needs matter to me.” …are the sentiments you want them to hear, if true.
Try assuming the best instead of assuming the worst about your partner during conflict. *
A single fight is not a relationship breaker.
Express your fears -if you’re afraid that they want to reject you, say so.
Do not assume that you are to blame for your partner’s bad mood.
Trust that your partner will be caring and responsive and express your needs.
Do not expect your partner to know what you’re thinking before you tell them.
Don’t assume that you understand what your partner means, ask.
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