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Law of No Judgment

11/21/2013

2 Comments

 
Dan Millman wrote a book  entitled “The Life You Were Born to Live.” 
 
I find it fascinating and I love the chapter that talks about judging. Here is what he writes about
that, “Judgments are human inventions, a means to compare, contrast, and control as we judge ourselves against artificial, and often idealistic, standards of perfection, morality, or truth. “

As youth fades and time brings changes,

we may change many of our present opinions.
So let us refrain from
setting ourselves up
as judge of the highest matters.
Plato


  He continues, “If … doesn’t judge us, what right or business do we have to judge ourselves? And against whose standards? Those of us with the highest ideals and standards tend to judge ourselves more harshly than others would ever judge us. We judge and criticize not only our actions but also our thoughts and feelings – even our fantasies? We also judge others against our high vision; then we judge ourselves for judging others!

When we measure and compare everything against the yardstick of our vision and ideals,
everything falls short, because this isn’t an ideal world – it’s a real world with real people, growing, making mistakes, learning, and evolving.  …What would it be like to live as best we can, accept our mistakes, learn from
them, and do a little better next time?"
 
What if we all judged just a little bit less?

Perhaps we should cut ourselves some slack?

2 Comments
Laura
12/25/2013 04:12:24 am

I've been thinking lately that maybe every time I find myself judging someone else, it's to protect me from some hurt inside me. That my judgments are signs that I am triggered. Not sure. I'm trying to observe myself and see if that's true.

I also wonder if when I am judgmental, I am not able to be empathetic with anyone, including me. I might be able to be a teeter-totter - empathetic one minute, and judgmental the next, but not simultaneously.

Just pondering. Not sure. Observing myself to see if it rings true.

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Jennifer link
1/17/2014 08:52:27 am

Judgement is big in our culture - whole industries & careers are built on it - & so often it is cynicism in the guise of constructive criticism.

When it comes to self-judging, it's so automatic & insidious I often don't realize I'm doing it! When I do catch myself - I try to remember that if it were a friend who had done {whatever} I would never judge her so harshly. I have to remember to treat myself as gently as I would a friend!

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    Don Boice
    Don Boice, LCSW-R, specializes in gender communication with couples in conflict.  

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