Ecstasy is our natural state, let it arise by remaining relaxed.
If you can prepare to do this in the every day moments, watch what happens during sex,
“In the beginning, the ecstasy will come in waves and will subside as it pleases. You will feel moments of intense communion and others that resemble oblivion. But when even the smallest trace of the infinite is allowed into the consciousness, it cannot keep from totally emerging. The essential thing is to not chase after ecstasy. It arises naturally if your presence in the world remains relaxed, without goals and constraints, free, open and light. Let the divine come and go as it pleases, it becomes familiar. Let things be...” Odier
EXERCISE: Let go of performing, of what the ego is telling you. You can actually feel incredible pleasure without ejaculating. Don’t focus on ejaculation, because that isn’t the highest goal here. If you are interested, learn how to circulate the energy within yourself first. Look up “microcosmic orbit” Then learn how to circulate the energy with your partner. It becomes effortless and flows naturally, if we can get out of our own way.
Have you tried doing the exercises on a regular basis (The Art of Sexual Ecstasy by Margo Anand) yet? Are you practicing this particular one 10-20 times before it becomes comfortable during sex? It is time to get the book, and read it, if you have not already done so. Here is an exercise to practice for tantra to flow: Shooting to the Crown Together