Had a bit of a computer glitch and lost some files, so I apologize if this does not feel as smooth.
Emily Nagoski PhD is the author of most of the material I have been using.
To the other partner:
I know that it can feel like your partner is withholding and I know that can feel deeply awful. Your role in untangling your relationship knots is very difficult because it requires you to put down your hurt and be loving to the person who is the source of those hurts, or so it seems.
That is difficult. Sometimes you might worry that you want sex too often, that you might be unreasonable with your demands, or that you’re sick to want sex as much as you do.
No, you just have a higher level of sexual interest than your partner does, your parts are organized in a different way.
It is normal.
Neither of you is broken, you just need to collaborate to find a context that works for both of you.
Give your partner space and time away from sex.
Let sex drop away from your relationship for a little while, and be fully presence be there, emotionally and physically.
Lavish your partner with affection, knowing that affection is not a prelude to sex.
Be warm and generous with your love.
You will not run out.
The best way to deal with a different desire is to be kind to one another.
Desire difficulties are the most common sexual problem, so I created worksheets in the “Come as You Are Workbook.”
Emily Nagoski PhD is the author of most of the material I have been using.
To the other partner:
I know that it can feel like your partner is withholding and I know that can feel deeply awful. Your role in untangling your relationship knots is very difficult because it requires you to put down your hurt and be loving to the person who is the source of those hurts, or so it seems.
That is difficult. Sometimes you might worry that you want sex too often, that you might be unreasonable with your demands, or that you’re sick to want sex as much as you do.
No, you just have a higher level of sexual interest than your partner does, your parts are organized in a different way.
It is normal.
Neither of you is broken, you just need to collaborate to find a context that works for both of you.
Give your partner space and time away from sex.
Let sex drop away from your relationship for a little while, and be fully presence be there, emotionally and physically.
Lavish your partner with affection, knowing that affection is not a prelude to sex.
Be warm and generous with your love.
You will not run out.
The best way to deal with a different desire is to be kind to one another.
Desire difficulties are the most common sexual problem, so I created worksheets in the “Come as You Are Workbook.”
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