There’s a book called Magnificent Sex by Peggy Klein, Platz, and Dana Menard.
They report the people who have these optimal sexual experiences, describe it with these eight major components:
(referenced in the book -Come as You Are page 240)
Being present, focused, and embodied
Connection, alignment, merger, being in synch,
Sexual and erotic intimacy, mutual respect, genuine acceptance, and caring, deep and penetrating trust with the partner
Extraordinary communication, heightened empathy, extraordinary lovers are extraordinary communicators, which means that they have extraordinary empathy -they are tuned into the inner world of their partner
Authenticity, being genuine, uninhibited, transparency (Extraordinary sex involves emotional nakedness and a shame free expression of sexual pleasure and desire, it requires going through process of rejecting a sexual script, the “should” that we are raised with)
Transcendence, bliss, peace, transformation, healing, (Extraordinary sex can include feeling like you’re melting into the universe, and connecting with the divine in a way that changes you, heals you, and truly makes your life and relationship better. When our daily lives require a lot of boundary, resetting, our sex lives are transformed when we’re willing and able to dissolve the boundaries with a trusted partner.)
Exploration, interpersonal risk, taking, fun, the context of play, curious investigation, discovery, experimentation, creativity, and laughter.
Vulnerability and surrender. Extraordinary sex is also characterized by profound trust, with nothing held back from partners, where your authentic self is received by someone else as a cherished gift.
Great sex is not what you do with your partner, not about which body parts go, where or how often or for how long but about how you share sensation in the context of profound, trust and connection. Recognize the difference between what great sex is really like and what most of us expect great sex to be like.
Magnificent sex requires growing beyond the conventional scripts most people learn in their youth.
Disappointing sex lives can change. The goal here is not merely to discard sex guilt, shame, and inhibition. It is to jettison the entire aspirational package of paint by number sex. People who have magnificent sex don’t just show up and put their bodies in the bed. They deliberately cultivate a context that just safe enough to dare the leaps of faith they take into the wild places in their souls.
That is magnificent sex.
Desire has almost nothing to do with it.
They don’t just want the sex performed in mainstream media or porn.
They want to know themselves in their partners more fully, they want to be seen, and known more fully felt more deeply held more closely. This is what I call magnificent desire.
There’s a book called Magnificent Sex by Peggy Klein, Platz, and Dana Menard.
They report the people who have these optimal sexual experiences, describe it with these eight major components:
(referenced in the book -Come as You Are page 240)
Being present, focused, and embodied
Connection, alignment, merger, being in synch,
Sexual and erotic intimacy, mutual respect, genuine acceptance, and caring, deep and penetrating trust with the partner
Extraordinary communication, heightened empathy, extraordinary lovers are extraordinary communicators, which means that they have extraordinary empathy -they are tuned into the inner world of their partner
Authenticity, being genuine, uninhibited, transparency (Extraordinary sex involves emotional nakedness and a shame free expression of sexual pleasure and desire, it requires going through process of rejecting a sexual script, the “should” that we are raised with)
Transcendence, bliss, peace, transformation, healing, (Extraordinary sex can include feeling like you’re melting into the universe, and connecting with the divine in a way that changes you, heals you, and truly makes your life and relationship better. When our daily lives require a lot of boundary, resetting, our sex lives are transformed when we’re willing and able to dissolve the boundaries with a trusted partner.)
Exploration, interpersonal risk, taking, fun, the context of play, curious investigation, discovery, experimentation, creativity, and laughter.
Vulnerability and surrender. Extraordinary sex is also characterized by profound trust, with nothing held back from partners, where your authentic self is received by someone else as a cherished gift.
Great sex is not what you do with your partner, not about which body parts go, where or how often or for how long but about how you share sensation in the context of profound, trust and connection. Recognize the difference between what great sex is really like and what most of us expect great sex to be like.
Magnificent sex requires growing beyond the conventional scripts most people learn in their youth.
Disappointing sex lives can change. The goal here is not merely to discard sex guilt, shame, and inhibition. It is to jettison the entire aspirational package of paint by number sex. People who have magnificent sex don’t just show up and put their bodies in the bed. They deliberately cultivate a context that just safe enough to dare the leaps of faith they take into the wild places in their souls.
That is magnificent sex.
Desire has almost nothing to do with it.
They don’t just want the sex performed in mainstream media or porn.
They want to know themselves in their partners more fully, they want to be seen, and known more fully felt more deeply held more closely. This is what I call magnificent desire.
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