I Am Married, Do I Still Have to Try?
This is a real question, by the way.
The person starts with something similar to what follows:
"I do not like the way we have conversations. I love talking and listening.
That is how I connect.
Ideas are my thing- they help my passion. My partner interrupts or interrogates, makes it about them or derails the whole thing and frankly I have complained and given enough examples that I do not want to keep trying. If we cannot even talk anymore, how can we possibly work out?"
This couple also had the Gottman information that shows how to listen and talk effectively. One party used it and the other did not. One party learned everything they could to be better at it and the other did not. The relationship withered.
Reader, are you surprised that a relationship dies when one party is working hard to keep it going and the other party wants something for nothing?
They do not even try to make it better.
No-excuse-living means that in this information age, the answers are not only in you but they are out there. If you have a question, you can get an answer. You can start working on any problem. If you are in tune, you take your partner and your relationship seriously, you can start working on it. No excuse for this and I have no patience for a client who does not try to get out of their own way. Well, okay maybe some patience at first, but if they are not willing to do the work, they will not succeed.
This is a real question, by the way.
The person starts with something similar to what follows:
"I do not like the way we have conversations. I love talking and listening.
That is how I connect.
Ideas are my thing- they help my passion. My partner interrupts or interrogates, makes it about them or derails the whole thing and frankly I have complained and given enough examples that I do not want to keep trying. If we cannot even talk anymore, how can we possibly work out?"
This couple also had the Gottman information that shows how to listen and talk effectively. One party used it and the other did not. One party learned everything they could to be better at it and the other did not. The relationship withered.
Reader, are you surprised that a relationship dies when one party is working hard to keep it going and the other party wants something for nothing?
They do not even try to make it better.
No-excuse-living means that in this information age, the answers are not only in you but they are out there. If you have a question, you can get an answer. You can start working on any problem. If you are in tune, you take your partner and your relationship seriously, you can start working on it. No excuse for this and I have no patience for a client who does not try to get out of their own way. Well, okay maybe some patience at first, but if they are not willing to do the work, they will not succeed.
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